Friends With Kids
by DeeDeePicklez
Summary: "We love each other, we trust each other, we're responsible, employed adults and we're totally not attracted to each other physically. We could have a kid, share all the responsibility and just skip over the whole marriage and divorce nightmare."
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So this is a new Multi-chaptered fic I'm pretty excited about! It's based on the movie of the same name, Friends With Kids. The idea (best friends who decide to forgo a traditional relationship and have a kid together) for the story comes from the movie and the plot will be loosely the same. If you've seen the movie, it moves pretty fast over different periods, I'll be spending some more time in each stage of the story. Some of the dialogue (especially in the beginning of the fic) is taken directly from the movie, most of it is changed slightly, some only have the same idea with completely different words, and all of it has descriptions and what not added since this is a written story and not a movie. As the story progresses, there will be less and less directly from the movie, since most of it is taken to set up the story (why they want to have the baby, the logistics, etc.)

Again, a lot of the dialogue, especially in this first chapter, is taken directly from the movie; I give complete credit to the movie, but don't want to quote it all because a lot of it has extra stuff added in.

Please enjoy and let me know what you think along the way, I am always open to changing and adapting and adding things in when readers make requests!

Chapter 1: I Can't Believe It

3:18 AM

"Rach?" his groggy voice croaks into the phone

"Alligator or shark?"

"What time is it?"

"3:18. I can't sleep. Alligator or shark?"

He rubs the sleep from his eyes as her always rapid voice whispers through the phone, "Uhh…I don't swim in the ocean, you know that."

"Yes, but alligators swim in lakes or swamps and marshes." She counters, having already prepared this part of the conversation in her head.

"But sharks are only in the ocean, which makes it impossible for me to die that way."

"You can't change the rules, Finn. You have to pick."

"Yeah, but the rules only work if both deaths could _actually_ happen."

"They can." She says, her voice determined even through her whisper, "You can't reduce possibility to zero."

He scoffs, "I can eliminate risk altogether on _shark death_ if I never go in the ocean!"

"Unless you're in a plane crash that doesn't kill you on impact and you land in the ocean." She decides proudly, her mouth pulled into a pleased smile

"Ugh… fine!" he finally concedes, "Shark. It's faster. Alligators drown you before they eat you. K? Happy?"

"Yes."

"You wanna come up?"

She considers it for a moment, wondering if the three floor elevator trip to her best friend's apartment would be worth it, "Is Catherine there?"

"Yeah."

She laughs, "Then, no thank you."

"Come on it's fine." He says, looking over at the girl still fast asleep to his left, "I'm gonna break up with her soon anyway."

"Really? Already?"

"Eh." He shrugs, "I give it like three weeks."

She snorts at his brush off, "Poor Catherine." She says dryly

He smirks into the phone, "Oh she'll be fine. She's got a great-" his eyes rake over her body, clad in some lacy lingerie thing, her large breasts almost spilling out of the top, "… Sense of humor."

Her laugh is louder than her whisper, "You are such an asshole."

"I know." he chuckles, "Hey, wait. Why are you whispering?

"Oh. I've got a guy in my bed."

He sits up abruptly, his eyes amused, "What!? Rach! That's great!"

"No it's not. He's like eleven…he's a bartender! What is wrong with me?"

"Nothing! It's been like…years, hasn't it?

"Six months…and a week." She says without missing a beat. Glancing over at the man, and biting her nails nervously.

"Exactly! Rach, that's not natural. You gotta sweep out the cobwebs!"

She rolls her eyes, "Thank you for that."

His smile is huge as he continues knowingly, "You know? Like from your-"

"I got it, Finn."

He laughs at her, mindful to keep his volume down, "Oh, Rachel." He sighs, "I think you should come up. We can prank call Puck..."

She smiles fondly, prank calling Puck was one of their favorite past times. She bites her lip in consideration, as much as she would love to spend the night laughing at Puck's expense, she had a bar tender to tend to (Ha!) With her dating track record, her entire apartment would be gutted by the time she got back. "No, it's ok. I'll just take a sleeping pill."

"Alright." He allows, lying back down, "I'll see you tonight, yeah?"

"Yep, 7:00."

"Is it going to be all of us?"

"Yeah, it's the six of us- and…Catherine. Unless of course you break up with her before then." She teases, smiling ruefully, "Keep me posted."

"Night, Rach."

"Good night, Finn."

He shook his head, chuckling at her as he hung up the phone. He could only imagine the gem she had brought home this time. It wasn't often he got to meet Rachel's guys, unless they became serious enough for a third date, but he'd heard all the stories. Honestly, he couldn't believe Rachel wasn't married by now. Sure, she was like his sister, but even he could see how beautiful she was. When they first met, back when Rachel moved down the street sophomore year, he thought maybe something would come from the whole pretty girl next door thing, but then he actually met her.

She was the most intense person he had ever met. Her voice moved a thousand miles a minute and she had a one of a kind type of liveliness that endeared her to him immediately. She was the fastest friend he had ever made, even him and Puck had taken a little while to warm up to each other and they had met when Finn was six.

Rachel was the least guarded person he knew, she was open and honest and warm from the second they met which pretty much made it impossible not to be her friend. He never thought his best friend would be a girl, but Rachel had pretty much obliterated any and all his expectations for friendship from the very beginning.

Everyone always accused them of being more than friends, _everyone. _But the romantic part of their relationship just never appeared the way people expected it to. She slept over his house all the time, he knew all her deepest, darkest secrets and she knows his but…nothing. He thinks it's because his affection for her runs too deep; he cherishes Rachel and values her in a way that he never has with any woman he's dated.

Rachel was more than the pretty girl down the street, and now she's more than the pretty girl who lives upstairs, she's his family.

…..

He was still on the phone as he got out of the cab. Handing the driver the fare without counting out the bills,

"Yes. Yes, I know. Just make sure the proposal is on my desk when I walk in on Monday." He ordered, rubbing his hands through his hair as his assistant continued to make him more and more agitated. His job in advertising was a pain in the ass, but it was lucrative enough to allow him his comfortable lifestyle, a fact he needed to remind himself of daily.

He hangs up the phone and rushes towards the restaurant, eyeing his watch and cursing under his breath when he realizes it's 7:15.

He pushes into the crowded elevator, pressing the "Close Door" button when a familiar voice reaches his ears,

"Hold the elevator!" Rachel calls out, squeezing through the already closing doors

"Fancy meeting you here." He teases, nudging her with his hip

She smiles at him and he can feel the stress of his day dissipating. Seeing Rachel always feels like home. Comfortable, warm, familiar. Happy.

"Cutting it close huh, Hudson?"

He smiles back, glancing down at her, "Ugh, did you have to wear those shoes?" he groans after seeing her dangerously high heels.

"Why? Feeling inadequate?"

"Yes." He deadpans, "That's exactly how I always feel around you, Rach. That my height is inadequate to your massive 5 foot stature."

"5 foot 3, thank you very much. Don't act like you don't know how tall I am."

Finn knew exactly how tall she was; she used to make him measure her weekly to see if she had grown at all. She hadn't. Ever. His house in Lima had a row of perfectly even pencil dashes on his bedroom wall to prove it. But that's not the point,

"I don't care how tall you are Rachel. I care about you stumbling down the streets four glasses of wine from now. I am _not_ carrying you home."

"Mhmm." She says knowingly, rolling her eyes, "That's what you said on Quinn's birthday."

"Yeah, and I should've kept my promise. Then I wouldn't have had you slurring Barbara Streisand in my ear for 10 blocks."

"I do not slur Finn, I sing." She explains with a flourish of her hand

"Whatever." He responded, receiving a swift punch in the shoulder for it just as they approached their table

"Hey!" Tina and Mike cheer in unison, their faces bright and excited

"Hi!" Rachel says, kissing Tina on the cheek and then switching with Finn to greet Mike as well.

"Puck and Quinn aren't here yet?" Finn asks, his forehead creasing as he checks his watch, "I thought for sure they'd beat us."

"Oh they're here." Tina tells them, her eyebrows rising at her husband who was stifling a laugh, "They went to the bathroom….20 minutes ago."

"Oh my god!" Rachel squeals "Do they just have sex everywhere?"

"They literally do not stop." Finn says, laughing

Tina laughs along, nodding her head, "It's so true, they have sex more than anyone I know."

"Well," Mike interrupts, his finger in the air, "Finn has sex a lot."

"Okay, yeah, I do. But not at that level! I haven't had sex on a boat or in a public bathroom!"

They all laugh until Tina interjects, "Hey! Speaking of Finn's sex life…Where's Catherine?"

Finn's innocent smile was the only answer they needed, erupting into groans and laughter.

"What?!"

"Already?!"

"Oh my god, dude!"

"Hey, hey." Rachel yelled, her voice breaking through the teasing, "We all know Finn has commitment issues."

"Yeah, whatever." Mike nodded, "Listen, Finn, we know no one will ever be able to live up to your mom, but you gotta work past this!"

"Ha Ha. Very funny. Can I just point out that Rachel is the one who can't get past a first date?"

"Hey!" she squeaks

"What?" Tina asks, "You didn't like that guy I set you up with? You didn't like Dave?"

"He had a record, Tina. And I'm pretty sure he was gay." She rolls her eyes, giving Finn knowing look, having already told him the horrific tale of her date with the closeted, tense man.

"You could make that work!" Mike teased

"Really?" she laughed, "Is that what it's come to?"

Just then, Puck and Quinn finally returned to the table, fixing their hair and clothes respectively, "Hey guys!" Quinn greeted

"Heyyy."

"Where were you guys?" Rachel questions, a knowing smirk on her face

"Oh, we were just- um, we saw- we saw Puck's…friend downstairs." Quinn attempted pitifully

"Oh yeah? What's this friend's name?"

"His name's mind your business alright?" Puck scolded, "You pervs."

They all laughed loudly at his ironic anger, even Quinn, who was currently hiding her face in Puck's shoulder.

"Right, we're the pervs… and how were the bathroom accommodations?" Finn teased, hiding behind his menu while Rachel pinched him from behind hers, giggling madly.

"You ass." Quinn laughs, shaking her head as they all laughed at her and Puck's expense.

"Anyways," Tina says, clearing her throat and waiting for the laughter to die down, "We have an announcement to make, we-"

She was interrupted by the loud shrieking of a toddler two tables away. Screaming and fighting with his mother who was desperately trying to get him to eat some pasta.

"Jeez, you'd think for the money this place charges, people would leave the kids at home." Finn scoffs

Rachel nods, eyeing the messy kid skeptically, "I know, are kids even allowed in here?" she says, sharing an annoyed glance with Finn

"We're pregnant!" Tina blurts

"Oh." Finn and Rachel both stutter

Rachel shoots them an apologetic look, "Sorry, we didn't mean anything by it, we're so excited for you it's-"

"Oh stop!" Tina says, waving her hand, "I don't think kids should be allowed in here either! Our kids will be angels; they won't ever leave the house." She jokes, lightening the mood

"Wait," Finn says, pointing a finger at Puck and Quinn, "You guys don't seem surprised… you knew?"

"We knew!" Quinn squeals, "They just told us before you guys got here, and-"

"We're pregnant too!" Puck yells

Rachel almost spits out her wine, "What?!"

"Wh- Seriously?" Finn sputters

Quinn doesn't answer him, her face an inch away from Puck's, they're hands clasped in front of them, "Babe, you said I could tell them."

"I know." He coos, "But I was just so excited!"

Quinn's bottom lip goes out into a pout, awing at her husband before kissing him, the chaste peck quickly escalating into something more.

"Alright, Alright! Take it easy." Finn says, his face twisted in disgust, "I know a great bathroom you guys can take this to."

Puck punches him in the arm and just like that they're all laughing again.

"But seriously," Rachel finally says, "You guys are really having a baby?"

Quinn nods energetically, a beaming smile threatening to split her face in two.

Finn downs a gulp of wine, "I mean that's just math right there, you can only have sex so many times before a baby makes himself comfortable."

Rachel swats him with her napkin, snorting when Finn raises his eyebrows at her.

The rest of dinner passes as it normally does, with teasing and laughing and silly stories. The boys share dirty jokes and the girls pretend to be appalled, the girls swoon over each other's outfits while the men roll their eyes. They've all been friends for a long time and it's always been like this. Rachel and Finn share a look at a quiet moment and they both know they're thinking the same thing; about how it's always been and how everything is about to change.

"I can't believe it." He says for the fifth time on their walk home, Rachel shakes her head.

"I mean, I _can_ believe it. Tina and Mike have been married for like, eight years now and Puck and Quinn fuck like bunnies I just-"

"It's crazy. It's ridiculous! I mean both of them pregnant? I just- they still have time!"

He shrugs, "Not really. Tina's 28, Quinn's 30, they're actually past their prime-"

"Don't go there." She says, pointing a finger up at him, "Quinn and I are the same age."

"Oh I know. You past your prime too." He says plainly, raising his eyebrows at her

She gasps, punching him in the shoulder, "Ow!"

"You are such a jerk!" her eyes are bright as she shakes her head at him, smiling even though she's punching him. If anyone else ever insulted her like that she would go crazy, but this was Finn. He's like her brother; their relationship was like 80% teasing.

"Easy Rach. Keep hitting me and I won't give you a piggy back ride. We still got five blocks to go." He taunts

She crosses her arms over her chest haughtily, "I don't need a piggy back ride."

"Mhmm."

"I can't believe it." She whispers, her tone turning serious

"I know." He agrees, "Maybe it won't be so different, I mean Tina said nothing would change…"

She shrugs her shoulders, looking pensive for a moment as they wait for the light to change.

He eyes her carefully, shaking his head at her, "Your feet are killing you aren't they?"

"Oh my god, so much!"

He sighs and tilts his head backwards, giving her the go ahead. She jumps on his back with a squeal, her weight familiar on him, her voice soft in his ear.

"Thanks buddy."

He laughs, and starts walking again, "What would I do without you?" she asks, patting his head

"Hell if I know."

He couldn't shake the feeling that everything was about to change, but at least for now he knew he had Rachel, his best friend, and that would never change.

Read and Review!


	2. The Perfect Set Up

A/N: Just another reminder that the dialogue for the set up of the pregnancy is taken from the movie Friends With Kids, some direct quotes, some modified and changed. Please enjoy this next chapter and let me know what you think!

Chapter 2: The Perfect Set Up

Three years later…

"Okay here's the thing," Rachel starts, walking into his apartment without knocking, "I get that they have kids now, but pulling the '_we can't get a babysitter' _cardis a little cliché, don't you think?"

He laughs as he pulls his shirt over his head, "Seriously. It's bad enough we have to go all the way to Brooklyn to see them, but now we can't even go out? It's not that I really care, except you know… it _is_ my birthday!"

She giggles at his wide spread arms and sarcasm, throwing a pillow at his head so he'll stop making that dumb "Duh!" face, "By the way, I just had to shell out like $500 bucks for all the baby showers I have to go to this month so IOU on the gift front, dude. Sorry." She shrugs her shoulders and smiles innocently at him.

He points a stern finger at her, "You're lucky I like you, Berry." He ruffles her hair like he knows she hates before continuing to get ready, "Besides, I don't really need anything. Unless of course you have a hot girl you've been keeping from me?" he raises his eyebrow, "Preferably with big-"he motions towards his chest dramatically and Rachel gasps, "career aspirations! God, Rach get your mind out of the gutter!"

"You are such a pig."

He holds a hand to his chest, mocking offense "Excuse me? You are the one getting off easy on my birthday gift, so you should keep your mouth shut or I'll invoke my best friend rights."

"Best friend rights?"

"Yeah, the right of any best friend to get a present from his or her best friend on his or her birthday… duh."

"It's not my fault everybody I know decided to have babies! And my god this stuff expensive! A hundred bucks for a deluxe tea set? Really?!"

He laughs at her when he sees all the tell tale signs of a Rachel Berry rant coming on.

"I don't want to go all Carrie Bradshaw, single girl, predictable tirade here but, come on! How many of these stupid baby showers have I been to? And don't get me started on the weddings! With the amount of money I've spent rewarding all of my friends' decisions to marry their soul mates and have babies and get married again after their soul mate cheats on them…when is it going to be my turn? I mean, shouldn't I get some kind of gift for _not _procreating?"

"You want a gift for a non-baby?" he asks, amused

"Yes! I want some kind of recognition for not bringing a baby into this screwed up world before I'm ready to. How about an award for not picking the _wrong_ person to get married to huh? I could be married to a cashier that still lives with his mother right now, but I'm not!"

"Oh god, Nick? He was the worst-"

"Shut up. The point is…" she says, dragging out the word and pointing her finger at him, " I didn't chose the wrong guy, or have a baby and hate it cause I wasn't really ready to have one, yet I still have to dole out $100 on a tea set when someone does!" she yells, her chest heaving

He smirks at her, "You done?"

She takes a deep breath, "Yeah, totally. You know you have to stop me at the beginning of a rant before I really get going."

"I know, but I figured I'd throw you a bone. $100 on a tea set _is_ bullshit."

She beams at him, "You're a good friend." She says, patting him on the shoulder, "That birthday present is totally coming your way… sometime in the next 2- 4 months."

He rolls his eyes as he holds the door for her, that gift is never coming and he really couldn't care less.

As much as he hated having to take a cab all the way to Brooklyn, he was actually really excited for tonight. He wasn't a huge birthday guy, but they hadn't seen their friends since Tina and Mike had their second kid, which was only 1 month after Puck and Quinn sealed the deal on their third and (in Puck's words) 'fucking last' kid.

"How was Puck the last time you saw him?" she asks once they're in the cab

"What do you mean?"

She squints at him, what about that question needs clarifying? "I mean exactly what I said, how was Puck when you saw him last?"

"I get the question, I just- the last time I saw him I was with you so-"

"Wait really?"

"Yeah."

"So we haven't seen Puck and Quinn _or_ Mike and Tina since?"

"Since the hospital." He answers

"No!" she scoffs, eyeing the meter as it gets outrageously high on their long ride to Brooklyn, "I- really? It's been 4 months?"

He shrugs looking a little guilty, "I guess."

She sighs, "Burn to death or freeze to death?"

"Um, freeze I guess."

"What?! You're wrong. Freezing would take so much longer!"

"Whoa! You can't just tell me I'm wrong! You get to pick whichever you want, that's the rules."

"Yeah, you can choose whichever you want but as your _much_ wiser best friend, I feel it is my responsibility to protect you from a slow and painful death versus… a slightly quicker painful death." She leans her head on his shoulder and bats her eyelashes at him as though she's just said the most thoughtful thing in the world.

"Gee thanks. But in this case, dying quicker isn't worth it."

"And why is that?"

"Because when you freeze to death at least your body stays intact. I don't want all my skin to be charred and melted off when I'm dead." He says, cringing

Her eyebrows scrunch as her lips pull into an amused smirk, "And why should that matter at all?"

"I don't need fire destroying this." He says, circling his finger around his face, "I need to look this good even after I'm gone…open casket, baby."

"Oh my god! You are literally the worst."

His roaring laugh makes it impossible for her not to giggle along; even the cab driver shakes his head in amusement.

The meter's seemingly endless ascent finally stops when they arrive at Tina and Mike's Brooklyn townhouse.

"$80 later…" Finn sighs, adjusting his shirt and tie.

Rachel smiles sympathetically and heads up the stairs to the front door. She rings the bell once, and again… and again when no one answers. She knocks on the door and they even call out for Mike and Tina. When there's still no answer Finn tries the door, which happens to be unlocked.

They are immediately bombarded in every possible way. Any and all of their senses are attacked simultaneously as they walk into the crowded space. First, the smell.

It smells like…like ketchup and play dough and vomit and baby powder all at once, Finn tells Rachel who has her hand over her nose, her head nodding in agreement and her eyes wide.

Just then, a blood curdling scream pierces their ear drums as Jason, Puck and Quinn's first born, dashes past them with what looked like spaghetti dangling out of his mouth.

Followed by Tina and Mike's first, Lilly, who has her fingers in her ears singing "La, la, la's" at the top of her lungs; neither of them stopping to notice Finn or Rachel.

Finn puts his hands over his ears and yells to Rachel as though they're in a rowdy nightclub, "Should we have come later?"

"We gave them an extra half hour!" she yells back, clutching Finn and squealing when another toddler, moving too fast for her to say which one just yet, zooms by on a tricycle nearly taking off her foot.

"Jesus, it's like a zoo in here! Where the hell are Tina and Mike?!" He shares a judgmental glance with Rachel, only to replace them with huge, fake smiles as Tina finally appears, wearing sweatpants and a bleach stained t-shirt, her hair in a messy bun. The laundry basket she's carrying smashes into Finn's knee as she rushes past,

"Ow!"

"Oh sorry. Happy Birthday." she says, her voice out of breath, "We're not quite ready yet." She explains without stopping. "Lillian Elizabeth you come back here RIGHT NOW!" she roars, making Finn and Rachel wince.

Tina's getting further and further away from them, without having actually invited them in. They shrug at each other and follow after her anyway.

"MIKE!"She bellows, her voice carrying through the house, "God damn it, Mike! How many times do I have to call you!? Finn and Rachel are here, I could use some help!"

"Hey!" Mike says calmly, finally appearing from the bedroom "Why didn't you guys ring the bell?"

"Um, we did."

"Oh yeah? Sorry, guess I couldn't hear."

"I wonder why?" Tina bites sarcastically, "Maybe because hearing the doorbell would require you leaving the bathroom for ten seconds to help me! Puck and Quinn got here a half hour ago; did you think maybe I could use you out here?! You are such a lazy, ass!"

"Babe, don't-"

"Lillian!" she screams again, disregarding Mike completely, "You get your butt in here this minute or so help me god!"

Mike laughs nervously, putting his finger up in the air, "Just one second."

He chases after Tina, who is chasing after Lillian, who was chasing after Chris, he thinks, who was chasing after Jason… the whole thing is making his head spin.

"Holy shit." He mutters, locking eyes with Rachel's wide ones

He puts his hand on her back, pushing her further into the house where he can hear Puck and Quinn talking, though as they get closer they realize they're not so much talking as they are yelling.

Rachel takes in Quinn's appearance, noticing immediately that she looks radically different. Had it really been that long since they'd all spent time together? For as long as she had known Quinn she had long golden locks of hair that even the most beautiful girls envied. No matter how she styled it, it looked flawless; never a strand out of place, it didn't frizz or curl even in the rain, it was just…perfect. Puck was always running his fingers through it and resting his nose there like it was the most heavenly spot in the world.

And now it was chopped off bluntly just above her shoulders. She clearly hadn't styled it for tonight, a simple brown clip pulling a chunk of hair in the front to the side. It looked limp and god, she felt terrible for thinking this but…really greasy, like she hadn't washed it for days.

She finally stopped scrutinizing her appearance when Quinn turned to see her, "Hi!" Rachel said brightly, moving forward to hug her friend, "You cut your hair! It looks great!" she lied, immediately feeling guilty.

They had never been fake with each other, any of them. If one of them bought an ugly blouse, the others let them know. If they dated someone horrific, they openly told them to kick the weirdo to the curb. They always joked and ribbed each other; their close bond granting them all immunity with the others, but telling Quinn her hair had seen better days somehow didn't feel right; kind of like kicking someone when they're down. The phony compliment left a bitter taste in her mouth, but she didn't have time to dwell on it since Puck quickly resumed the argument her and Finn had clearly interrupted.

"I can't believe you would say that! I just took Jason to Cub Scouts on Thursday _and _I changed Emily's diaper just last night!"

"Well somebody get this man an award!" Quinn hollered sarcastically, "Congratulations on taking your kid somewhere and changing a diaper!"

"Quinn-" Puck tried, his breathing heavy and frustrated

"Can you believe it, Rach?" Quinn said, leaning her elbow on Rachel's shoulder, "Puck changed Emily's diaper… yesterday! It's not like I've already done it 3 more times since then or anything. No, no! We've got the father of the year here!" she started applauding mockingly

Finn and Rachel shared an uncomfortable glance; their friends were pretty much making this as awkward as it could possibly be.

Finn started to tip toe out of the room, ignoring Rachel's pleading eyes. Puck started yelling at Quinn again and Finn seized the opportunity to grab Rachel and yank her out of the kitchen with him.

He scurried out in such a haste that he almost ran over Jason in the hall way.

"Buddy!" he greeted affectionately. He was quite happy to see him now that he seemed to calm down a bit. Finn wiped some sauce from Jason's chin before lifting him up. "What's up dude?"

Jason shrugged his shoulders, hoping his godfather had something more exciting in store for him then the same boring questions Mike had already asked him.

"Ugh." Finn groaned holding his back and stumbling around dramatically, "You are getting so big and heavy and I can't- I can't seem to hold you- I just" Jason's high pitched laughter filled the air as Finn stumbled around the living room wildly, finally dropping Jason on the couch and tickling him, all the while roaring like the huge monster he was.

Their rowdy playing caught the attention of all the kids and soon they were hanging all over Finn, screaming and giggling and 'Uncle Finn's!' and 'me next!' came from everywhere.

Rachel watched on fondly from the doorway, laughing outright when Christopher calls Finn a 'big, fat, beast.'

"Oh really?" Finn says with a wry smile, "You're gonna betray me like that? And here I was thinking we were friends."

"I'm sorry." She says, but she doesn't look sorry at all. Her eyes are bright and her smile is wide.

"That's it. Everyone attack Aunt Rachel!"

"Ahhhh!"

…

The night isn't totally terrible, even with the rocky start. Once the kids are all in bed, both tense couples seem to relax a little more, though Puck remains on edge all night, a deep scowl on his face no matter what topic is approached. Tina apologizes for all her screaming and even kisses Mike on the cheek when he makes a lame joke.

It doesn't really feel like Finn's birthday, but all the people he loves are here which makes it okay, even if his friends are all completely insane, irate versions of themselves. Except for Rachel of course, she's still in sane, child-less land with him.

They leave exhausted, both letting out loud whooshing breaths as they close the door behind them.

"Okay, who were those people?" He finally says once they've gotten far enough away from the house

"I don't know!" Rachel cries, her eyes wide

"We don't- we don't know those people, Rach. Those are not our friends."

"They certainly aren't the people I know!"

"How did that happen?" he asks, his voice filled with genuine awe, "It wasn't like that the last time we saw them was it?"

"Well, the last time we saw everyone was in the hospital for Emily's birth and I guess everyone is on their best behavior in a hospital right?"

He shrugs, "And before that," Rachel continues, "The last time we all really hung out, everyone had less kids and-"

"Everyone hated each other a lot less." He finishes

"Right?! Jeez," she says wistfully, shaking her head, "This is why people shouldn't get married. I mean, Puck and Quinn didn't say anything to each other tonight unless they were fighting. And Mike and Tina! They used to be so in love! So wrapped up in each other, so sickeningly sweet I could barf. Those people-" she yells, gesturing behind her, "Those people are mean! And- and angry!"

"You think it's the marriage that does it?" he asks "What about the kids?"

"Having kids doesn't make you angry." She says, brushing him off, but her eyebrows immediately scrunch, "Maybe it does." She amends softly

"But it doesn't have to you know?" Finn claims, motioning wildly. "I mean I get that it's hard. You go through pregnancy and you're fat and cranky, I get that. But I'm sorry… that is what you signed up for."

"Totally." Rachel nods, stopping in front of a bar and raising her eyebrows.

"Yes!" he groans out, holding the door for her as she laughs.

They both take huge gulps from their glasses, wincing as the liquid burns their throats, "Woo!" Rachel grimaces.

Finn nods and clinks his glass with hers, "Cheers!"

"I still can't believe it." Rachel continues, shaking her head "Tina was so mean!"

"And Quinn's hair!" they both shout in unison

Rachel holds a hand over her mouth, giggling from the alcohol, "I just don't get it, it's like you said, this is what you signed up for. You know it's going to be shitty for 9 or 10 months but then you get a great kid at the end!"

"Exactly. Like Jason!"

"I know! And the having a kid part is great." She offers, signaling the bartender for more

"Right? People bring gifts and-"

"And everyone comes to visit you! In laws and friends, everyone's around and people knit and bake-" they both make matching confused faces

Finn shakes his head slowly, "I don't think-"

"Okay, no one knits, but still!"

"Yeah," he agrees, his face falling quickly, "but then after all the crazy birth celebration stuff, nobody sleeps for what? Like a year?" he asks, the whiskey starting to make his head feel fuzzy

"Yeah… like a year…two?"

"Right, well that - that'll make you mean."

She laughs loudly at that, Finn sleeps more than anybody she has or will ever know. Finn smiles at her barking laugh but knows it means it's time to cut Rachel off. She did drink two whiskeys in like 10 minutes and she's super tiny.

He raises his hand for the check and watches Rachel as she chews on a straw, seemingly deep in thought.

"You know what the worst part is?" she asks, pointing the crushed red straw at him

He raises his eyebrows and tilts his head, signaling for her to continue

"The worst part," she says seriously, "Is that you start to love the baby way more than you love yourself." She looks at her now empty glass and frowns, eyeing the last sip in his

"Go ahead." He allows, pushing it towards her and shaking his head when she lets out a happy squeal.

"I mean it's this creature," she continues, making a little shape with both her hands, "this…this stranger! And yet, you love them far and above the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with! More than _that person_, the person you chose on the planet over absolutely everyone else! And when you put someone above your significant other, it's bound to affect your marriage."

He nods thoughtfully. She's making a lot of sense for two whiskeys (and a final sip) in. She's right, you have a kid and then you love it more than anything, which leaves your significant other… your Mike, your Quinn, your Puck, second best. And it makes all that relationship stuff, the vomit inducing make outs and inappropriate romps in the bathroom… irrelevant. That seems totally detrimental, but,

"But what's the alternative?" he asks Rachel curiously, "Just …not like your kid that much? Talk about him behind his back and leave him out of things? Tell him he's a douche bag…"

Rachel whacks him on the arm, giggling as she starts to put her coat on.

"I hate when you say douche bag."

He smirks, "I know. Why do you think I say it?"

She rolls her eyes, "No, you can't just conspire with your partner and not like your kid. That's my point! The system is flawed!" she shouts, just before ducking her head into the cab.

"I mean think about it," she babbles on, handing Finn a piece of gum for her purse, "At my age, even if I meet my guy,_ the_ guy I've been waiting for my whole life. I'll have what? Six months to a year of awesome before we're plunged into baby-dom and then it doesn't get good again for another like five years?" she explains, a horrified look on her face

"…if you survive it."

"See? I just- I don't know how you get to be the most important person to _your_ person…and not miss out on having a kid." Her voice is quiet and the car quickly becomes somber.

It's such a profound question to ask, so immensely baffling and so terribly true. He takes a breath and tries to lighten his voice some, the conversation becoming way too deep for his liking.

"You could marry a divorced guy with kids?" he suggests, "You're bound to find one of those prizes with your luck with guys."

"Yeah but then you miss out on birth and you're second best to the kids." She retorts, choosing to ignore his jab on her less than stellar dating record.

"Okay so what are you saying?" Finn finally asks with a conclusive voice, "You want to be already divorced, with a kid…so you can meet the man of your dreams? "

"Yes." She says instantly, surprising them both. She gives a sarcastic smile to the cab driver who is watching them in the rear view mirror with judgmental eyes. She feels kind of silly and shallow for admitting she'd want this odd scenario. She's about to take it back, glancing at Finn guiltily, but he seems to be taking the idea in. Nodding his head slightly, his eyebrows knitted together, his lips upturned slightly in intrigue.

"Actually," he starts, grabbing Rachel's interest entirely, "divorced people have it kind of great! They get all the toxic, unsexy stuff out of the way with the first person and then when they meet the person they really want to be with, they only have to deal with the kid half the time."

She scurries to sit up in excitement, "Right?!"

He nods, his eyes wide, "The couple gets all sorts of time together to be happy and work on their relationship while the kids are with the ex, and _then_ they get the best version of the kid because their time together is "special"!"  
She grabs his forearm shaking it a little bit, unable to believe that no one has ever thought of this before. He looks at her dumbfounded face and laughs, patting a hand over the ones squeezing his arm.

"It's the perfect set up." She decides, shrugging and paying the cab driver

"Or you could just not have kids." Finn proposes as he helps her out of the car

"Oh but I want them so bad!" she coos, hugging his arm and looking up at him bright eyes, "Don't you?"

He scoffs at her, "Are you kidding? Of course I want a kid! I'm gonna have a kid no matter what, you know that."

She breathes a sigh of relief, she _does_ know that but sometimes - he is kind of the definition of a bachelor. She loves the guy and all, but sometimes he makes her wonder.

"Me too. At least one."

He stops abruptly at the front door of their building, his hand on the knob but not moving. His eyes are squinted in thought before he looks back at her, "Why don't we just do it?"

"Do what?"

"Have a kid, get it over with."

He says it like it's nothing, like asking her to pick up some milk for him while she's at the store because he forgot for the thousandth time. His flippant tone is almost more shocking then the actual proposal. _Almost._

She blinks rapidly and opens her mouth to speak more than once before a high pitched, 'what?' finally squeaks out.

He presses the elevator button and rolls his eyes at her while she's not looking. She does this doe eyed innocent thing sometimes and it's totally ridiculous. Even after all this time, even though he knows everything there is to know about her, every story, each embarrassing moment, any crude mistake; she still insists on these chaste reactions.

It's not really all that crazy he explains, "We love each other, we trust each other, we're responsible, employed adults and we're totally not attracted to each other physically!"

Now it's her turn to roll her eyes, returning to the sarcastic tone of their relaxed banter, "Yeah, that'd be perfect. We could beat the system."

"Yeah!" he cheers, ignoring her dry tone, "We'd share all the responsibility and just skip over the whole marriage and divorce nightmare! I mean if what you said before is true, then you should get to it. Pop one out and then start looking for your guy!"

"Pop one out?" she laughs, looking up when the elevator dings its arrival on her floor. She steps out of the elevator, an amused but pensive smile on her face. She bites her thumb, her eyes squinting their concentration. The elevator dings again as the doors start to close with Finn still inside,

"I can't really tell if you're kidding right now…" she says, a confused smile on her face.

His raised eyebrows are the last thing she sees before the doors seal in front of him.


	3. Not Kidding

Chapter 3: Not Kidding

His face is still etched in her brain a half hour later as she gets ready for bed. She glances at her reflection while she's brushing her teeth shaking her head at the absurdity that is her best friend. Sure I'll just pop one out! No big deal! she murmurs to herself wildly, the toothbrush hanging out the side of her mouth. She rinses her mouth just in time for Finn's ringtone to echo through her apartment. She throws her body on her bed, landing with a bounce before picking up the phone.

"Yes?"

"What if I wasn't…"

"What?"

He clears his throat, "Kidding."

"Really?" she says, abruptly sitting up

He takes a sip from his beer and leans against his kitchen counter. Swallowing loudly, "Just…what if?"

She doesn't really answer, a strangled sound coming out instead. So he continues, "Just- just do that thing."

"What thing?"

"That thing you make me do whenever I have to make a big decision; the hypothetical situations and questions and- all that annoying shit that paints the whole picture or whatever."

"Just talk through it?"

"Yeah, just – like brainstorm."

She nods, liking this idea. Even if it is "annoying shit" as he so delicately puts it. Regardless of how much he pretends to hate her theoretical situations and meticulous planning, it really has helped them to make numerous important life decisions. Like deciding where to go to college, and what Finn's major should be, and what job he should take after graduation and what apartment building she (and then eventually, he) would move into.

"Ok well, hypothetically… if we had a kid, what would we tell our future… people?

"Easy! We dated casually once or twice, got pregnant, you wanted to keep the kid… cause you're old." He quipped, smiling proudly and taking another swig of beer.

"Thanks."

"And since you wanted to keep it, I had no choice, so we decided to split custody and remain friends." He shrugs like it's the most obvious explanation ever.

"But that makes me the villain." She rolls her eyes at his distinctly male reasoning. Of course she's the emotional train wreck who wanted a baby so bad she forced some guy to share custody with her.

"Fine….we both wanted a kid but not each other, so split custody, remain friends."

She thinks this over, damn his cavalier logic. How could he make something as colossal and life changing as having a baby sound like deciding which restaurant to eat at?

"I'll call you back." She says quickly, hanging up without waiting for a response.

It was completely crazy, all of it. But the craziest part was that he was kind of right. She hated to admit it, but she really was running out of time, she was almost 33 years old and was nowhere in the realm of finding someone worthy of fathering her children. And Finn really would be an amazing dad. Despite how juvenile his womanizing ways made him seem, Rachel knew better. She knew how much he had always wanted to be a dad, to give a kid the kind of father he never had, and she knew firsthand how kind he was when he really cared for someone. She knew that how loyal and sweet and protective he was of her would transfer over tenfold to a precious little baby.

The real question was, was she really ready to give up? To forgo the traditional, fairytale husband and kids and a Labrador retriever in the front yard and the white picket fence. On the other hand, was she really ready for her life to turn picture perfect only to have it ripped apart by resentment and exhaustion and whatever else seemed to have poisoned her friends' relationships?

It was too much! This is why the world had unplanned pregnancies and unspoken rules about the order and circumstances these things were supposed to happen in, because making this kind of life changing decision voluntarily was impossible! She fell onto her bed face first with a loud groan, shaking the bed and knocking over a picture on her nightstand. She went to fix it and softened at the memory. It was their junior prom. She beamed, clad in baby pink tulle while Finn smiled uncomfortable, but warm.

He wasn't even supposed to go to prom. He had explained the whole thing to her as they did geometry homework one afternoon in her bedroom.

"Puck's mom is going to Cincinnati for the weekend and his cousin promised to get us beer!" he beamed. His face bright with a goofy smile.

She scrunched her nose in distaste, "_Beer_? Finn, we only have one junior prom."

"Yeah, and then a senior prom. Dances are lame anyway, you have to get all dressed up and my mom will want to take 800 pictures and-"

"Well I'm going." She decides, her nose upturned slightly

He smirks, sitting up on her bed, "Oh yeah? With who?"

She squints at him; she knows he's not actually curious, just making fun of her like always. "For your information," she shrieks, throwing her pencil at him, "someone asked me to go with them!"

He barks out a laugh, "Who was it? The afro kid? What's his name...Israel?"

She gasps, her lips forming a perfect offended 'o'. "Jacob Ben Israel?! Gross, Finn!" she ignores his continuing laughter, grabbing her textbook to hit him repeatedly.

"Okay okay!" he laughs, still trying to catch his breath, grabbing both her arms to stop her from whacking him, "Who asked you? Seriously, I wanna know."

She shakes the hair out of her face, her arms still trapped under his hands, "Matt Rutherford."

He raises his eyebrows, pleased that someone else finally understands how awesome his best friend is. Sure she wanted to go to the lame prom, which was super nerdy and was now at the top of his teasing list, but Rachel was amazing and it was about time someone other than him and Kurt Hummel noticed it.

"Cool." He says simply

She nods, "It _is_ cool." Her smile is satisfied as she finally moves away from his grasp to put her text book back on the table, "Promise me you'll come over before I leave to make sure I look okay?"

"Raaach…" he whines

"Please Finn. I'll throw in a bag of Twizzlers!"

"Two."

"Deal." She squeals, clapping her hands and bouncing up and down, "It's going to be perfect!"

…

Finn's been watching Kurt do Rachel's hair for an hour now, he's already gone through one of his Twizzler bags and this is so not perfect.

"Rachel come on, this is taking forever! I need to go to Puck's!"

"Finn, please. Your neanderthal friends will wait for you to arrive before starting their belching contests and wrestle fights and whatever else you straight guys do." Kurt scolds, waving him off with a flourish of his hand

"What the hell is a wrestle fight?" Finn asks, half of a Twizzler hanging out of his mouth.

"I don't know- and if you throw another piece of licorice at me, I swear I will take all these bobby pins out and start from the beginning!"

"I'm bored!" Finn yells, throwing his arms in the air

Rachel rolls her eyes and reaches into her desk, pulling out her Gameboy and handing it to Finn, "Here you big baby, I can't get past level seven."

"Sweet!" he cheers, leaning back on her bed, smiling like a kid on Christmas.

"Rachel Berry," Kurt croons with an impressed voice, "I didn't know you spoke boy."

She laughs, "I don't speak boy, I just speak Finn."

10 minutes later, Rachel has to grab the Gameboy out of his hands so he can watch her twirl in front of him.

"Well, what do you think?"

"It's nice." Is his simple, cliché-boy answer

She huffs, giving him one of her looks. The one that says she serious and that he's her best friend and she needs him right now. Rachel's really good with conveying a lot with just one stare, it's something her and his mom have in common.

He sighs, "You look good, Rach. I promise."

She smiles, a silent thank you.

"So can I go now?"

"You have sufficiently fulfilled your best friend duties."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes." She giggles, reaching up to hug him, "Thank you for coming, Finn. Don't drink too much beer tonight! Or let Puck convince you to do anything stupid! And you better not tell him who the Russian lady who calls him looking for a good time actually is!"

He smirks, "I won't, Svetlana."

She starts pushing him out the door when he notices the time; 6:15. Matt was supposed to be here at 6:00; Rachel had said it like fourteen times tonight.

She sees him looking at her clock and brushes him off before he has the chance to say anything, "It's okay. He's just a little late, no biggy." She says with a heavy breath, and he knows this is killing her.

He hesitates for a second before she starts pushing him out the door again, "Go, Finn. There are many beers to be had at Puck's, I'll call you tomorrow and tell you every lame prom detail!"

He glances back at her one more time, a bad feeling in his stomach.

"Daddy where is he?!" she cries, looking at the clock again, 6:48.

"I don't know pumpkin, maybe he's just running late?"

"48 minutes late?!" she sniffles loudly, shaking her head, "He's not coming."

"Rachel, you don't know that-"

"Yes I do! He's not coming and I'm not going!"

"But sweetheart, all the time you spent planning, and you saved all that money for the dress, you look so beautiful-"

"Well apparently not beautiful enough!" she yells, stomping her foot before storming up to her room. She slams the door dramatically and falls onto her bed, the pink tulle gathering around her. She was such an idiot. How could she actually think a guy would be interested her?

"Go away daddy!" she moans when she hears a knock at the door, "I don't want to talk about it!"

"It's me." A quiet voice says

She peaks one eye at him, feeling her heart constrict at the sight. She doesn't know how he knew she would need him or where he got a corsage so fast. But she _does_ know that he still doesn't know how to knot a tie and that he is the best friend in the entire world.

She sniffles, sitting up in bed and wipes at her eyes, "Finn, you don't-"

"Save it." He interrupts, holding his hand up, "Help me do this stupid tie before I change my mind."

She laughs, moving towards him to fix his tie. She can't really find the words to say, so she just focuses on the silky material underneath her fingers.

"Wait, wait!" her father calls out just before they make it out the door, "We need a picture! Say cheese!"

"Cheese!" they repeat and he's so gonna make fun of Rachel for her goofy dads later.

He tugs at his tie again and looks down at Rachel's beaming smile, it kind of makes missing out on Puck's worth it. But she totally owes him another bag of Twizzlers for this.

…

She sighed at the memory. There was no question about the kind of father Finn would be. Protective, caring, thoughtful, silly, dependable, Finn was built for fatherhood.

It was once she realized this that she forgot about what she would be giving up by having a baby with Finn, and realized all that she would be gaining.

Finn and Rachel had chosen each other a long time ago. Fate had handed her father a new job in Lima, Ohio and moved them to the house down the street from Finn and Carole Hudson. But they had decided to stick with each other. They didn't have to go to the same college, Finn didn't have to move in the apartment three floors up, they didn't have to be each others' emergency contacts; it was something they chose because they knew the other was worth keeping. They had chosen each other and now she was choosing him again.

Finn leaned against the counter and took a deep breath. He knew what Rachel was thinking, that he was crazy and impulsive and not thinking this through. But he'd be lying if he said this was the first time he'd thought about a family with Rachel. It's kind of inevitable when he already felt like Rachel _was_ his family.

He loved his mom and they had always had a wonderful relationship, same with Rachel and her dads, but when Finn and Rachel had moved to New York to attend college and never looked back, something shifted. Holiday visits to Lima became far and fewer between, surprise pop ins from Rachel's dads in the city became a thing of the past, care packages from his mom diminished completely after freshman year. Once they had moved to the big city, liberated from their parents and their small, ignorant town, they had started an entirely new life. Their parents had released them in some weird way, incredible in their understanding that their independent children could survive and thrive on their own. And so, even more than before, Rachel and Finn had become each other's family. For better or worse, they had found themselves in this odd marriage of sorts, so how was having a kid any different?

Yes, it was unusual, but so were they! And he was man enough to admit that he had pictured singing a baby to sleep with Rachel, and pushing his kid on the swings while Rachel watched from a park bench, and arguing with Rachel over too flamboyant outfits and tap dancing versus football. It was hard not to picture Rachel in this part of his life when she was so firmly planted in every other part of it.

The idea of meeting a woman and loving her enough to marry her, to be stuck with her forever, to trust her to be sane enough to raise his kid seemed completely farfetched and implausible to him. He could barely stand having a girlfriend for more than a month…

But the idea of having a kid with Rachel, being tied to her for the rest of his life? That already seemed like an inevitability, so why not make both of their dreams come true and have a baby?

…

Rachel used her key to get into his apartment; he always locked the door this late at night.

"Really?" she said without any pretense, startling him from what seemed like a moment of deep thought.

He pressed off the counter, getting a beer from the fridge and handing it to her "Really."

She ran her finger over the top of the bottle, worrying her lip and tapping her foot nervously, "Really, really?"

"Yes."

She sighed and then remained silent for a few moments, "Really?"

"Oh my god-"

"Okay!" she said putting her hands up and taking a deep, calming breath, "Look me in the eye and tell me that you'll be 100% committed to this. Finn, I love you but this cannot be a Catherine…or- or a Jessica, Teresa from the office, Tori from the grocery store…. You can't break up with your kid once you get bored."

"I know-"

"And you can't get rid of _me_ when I annoy you! And if we fight, or if I'm super pregnant and mean. Or if I get like- colossally fat and never lose the weight… you can't- you can't just leave."

He tilted his head at her in sympathy; this was about way more than just a baby. Sure this was a huge deal and she was spiraling because she rants when she's nervous, but this was also about her poor luck with one douche bag after another, about her mom abandoning her, about her insecurities, her fear of being a terrible mother. He knew all about her issues, but he had never left her before and he wasn't about to now.

"Rachel, I would never leave you, and I would _never_ abandon my kid." He put both hands on her shoulders, "We can do this."

"You'll be 100% committed? Half the time?"

"I will be 100% committed to this half the time…maybe even more." He smirked

She looked pensive for a moment, and he was ready with a long explanation about how they loved each other and how it wasn't as crazy as it seemed and that he knew she really wanted this, the only thing holding her back was the fear of what other people might say and-

"Okay." She said, looking at him with great determination.

"Okay?"

She nodded, "Let's have a baby Finn Hudson." she proposed before tilting her bottle towards him.

He smiled wide and clinked his bottle with hers.

He was overjoyed. A baby! He couldn't believe this was actually going to happen, he let thoughts of a tiny baby; half his and half Rachel's invade his brain for a moment, until he thought of something.

His beaming face suddenly changed, "Shit, what do we tell our friends?"

.

.

Hope you enjoyed! Telling the friends is up next. Review to tell me what you think and what you'd like to see!


	4. An Odd Situation

A/N: Hey all! Sorry for the delay in updating, Hurricane Sandy is a bitch and it's pretty hard to write when you have no power! Anyways, a small amount of dialogue between Finn+Rachel and Mike+Tina is taken from the movie "Friends with Kids" which I do not own, but appreciate greatly for inspiring this story. Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

Chapter 4: An Odd Situation

To say Rachel was apprehensive would be a huge understatement.

Her and Finn's situation was odd at best. _She_ was still having trouble wrapping her mind around the logistics and reality of it, and now she was about to tell her closest friends.

She also knew that telling them would make it real. Right now, she was in her little bubble of weirdness with Finn. He understood her and she understood him, this idea seemed terrific to them, but they still knew it was extremely unconventional. Whether they were ecstatic or appalled, once they told their friends, there was no turning back.

Rachel wrung her hands together again, looking out the window of their cab impatiently. She tapped her foot rapidly and counted the seconds until the traffic light turned green. Finn noticed her nervousness and rolled his eyes. Sure, he was a little uneasy about telling their friends, but he knew that ultimately, the only opinions that mattered were his and Rachel's.

She always had trouble ignoring people's judgments of her though, so he placed his hand on her knee in an effort to comfort her.

She faced him and smiled gratefully, taking a deliberately loud breath to show him she was trying to relax. He knew better, but he appreciated the effort nonetheless.

"Okay, having to continuously ride a cab through the streets of New York City for the rest of eternity, or live in Lima til' you die?" he posed, moving his face close to hers with a devious smirk

She snorted and put her entire hand on his face to push it away, "Someone obviously already decided this for me. Between the Brooklyn trek to Tina and Mike's _and_ Quinn and Puck's, plus my daily commute to work; I feel like I should just set up camp in a taxi and call it a day."

He waited a beat and then looked at her knowingly, "Still better than Lima." They blurted at the same time, making Finn laugh heartily and miss his chance to-

"Jinx!" Rachel giggled, putting her finger up when Finn opened his mouth, "No! Nope, no talking. You know the rules."

She crossed her arms over her chest, quite proud with herself. Finn looked at her pleadingly, even pouting his bottom lip a little for effect.

"What? What is it? What do you want?" Rachel tried to keep a serious face, but her eyes were sparkling in delight, "Finn, I can't help you if you don't tell me what you want!"

Finn's eyes went wide, putting one finger out when Rachel said his name.

She couldn't stop giggling as she addressed the cab driver, a burly man who looked like he was in no mood to chat, "Excuse me, sir?"

He made a rumbling noise in return, which Rachel assumed was her cue to go on, "Would you be able to tell me what fishes swim with?" She looked back at Finn and smiled wickedly, ignoring his rolling eyes.

"What?" he grunted

She covered her mouth to stop from cackling in the man's ear, "A fish. What do they use to help them swim?"

"Eh?" he said, "A fish? Water?"

Finn rolled his eyes again and tilted his head at Rachel, sending her a look that she was pretty sure would say, "Ha ha. Very funny."

She stifled her laughter one more time, "You know, like those little flippers they use to move faster?"

"Fin?"

"Yes!" Rachel squealed, eyeing Finn as he let out a relieved breath, only to panic when he realized someone still needed to say his name one more time.

The cab driver gave them a distasteful look, stopping the car in front of Mike and Tina's, "$75."

Finn put his hand out with a sarcastic smile, signaling for Rachel to pay as he got out of the cab without a word.

It wasn't until Finn knocked on the door that she remembered where she was and why. She had totally forgotten about being nervous, her childish antics with Finn distracting her completely. She looked up at him in appreciation, "Finn." She said pointedly, laughing when he let out a loud Woo! in response, "Thanks."

He nodded in understanding just before Mike opened the door, "Hey! Heard you this time!" he said with a cheesy smile and finger point

"Totally…" Finn smiled tightly.

Rachel took a deep breath as Tina and Mike sat on the couch in front of them. All she had told Tina on the phone was that she and Finn had news. She knew this would be completely unexpected and she wasn't sure how to even start telling them the odd details. Fortunately, Finn had offered to take the lead, claiming to be good on his feet. She knew better than to believe that, knowing for a fact that Finn became a bumbling idiot when put on the spot. But he seemed pretty confident about their arrangement, having come up with most of it himself, so she decided she'd just let him handle it.

She took a deep breath and readied herself for whatever introduction Finn had to ease them into this. Maybe something gentle and logical like, 'We're at the point in our lives where we need to make aggressive decisions regarding our future. We're not in our 20's anymore and if we want to have children we need to be proactive and open to a myriad of different paths which would eventually lead us to-

"We're having a baby!" Finn blurted with zero moderation, instead.

Rachel stared at Mike and Tina's wide eyes and gaping mouths and made no hesitation before backhanding Finn across the chest.

"Ow! What!?"

She whispered harshly up at him, "You were supposed to-"

"Oh my god!" Tina cheered, "Finally!"

Finn and Rachel eyed her wearily. Finally? They weren't _that_ old, were people really waiting for them to do this?

"This is like my dream!" Tina continued, "Now all of us will finally be together and-"

"Wait, what?"

"Puck and Quinn, and Mike and I, and now finally you two! And a baby! Just perfect."

Finn lifted his hands in the air, "Whoa, Whoa! Tina, no. We're not- we're not _together_."

Rachel shook her head in agreement, "We're not getting together, we're just going to have a baby."

Tina drew her face back in shock, "Wait…what?"

Rachel gestured helplessly, wondering yet again if there is any way to explain this in a way that doesn't make them sound crazy, "We're not going to be dating or anything, we just…we just want to have a baby and…" she shrugged

Tina sunk back into the couch slowly; a confused and defeated look on her face. "So, you're- you're pregnant?"

"No, not yet." Finn answered, "We just _want _to get pregnant, you know with a baby…"

Rachel gawks at him in disbelief. _Thanks for clearing that one up genius, otherwise Tina would've thought we wanted to get pregnant with a Sasquatch._

Tina still looks just as confused though. Maybe the baby thing did need clarifying…

She looked to Mike for help and he glanced at them with squinted eyes, "They're not gonna get together… they're just gonna bang one time and have a kid. Right?"

Rachel winced, "Well…"

"Yep." Finn agreed simply, earning him another glare from Rachel. He sighed and put his arm around her shoulders, "Look, we really want to have a kid, we just don't want to subject that kid to our tragic marriage."

Tina looks immediately offended, "Tragic marriage?"

"No! No, no, no." Finn backtracked. He signaled between him and Rachel, "_Our_ tragic marriage. The one we would have."

Tina folded her arms over her chest, clearly unconvinced.

"Tina we just don't want to fall into the same trap a lot of marriages tend to-"

"Trap?!"

Finn was waving his arms around wildly now, he wasn't planning on getting this flustered. He looked to Mike desperately and let out a huge breath when his friend finally started to talk.

"I get it. I totally get it. You wanna have a kid but without all the shit that comes with marriage." Mike nodded his approval, "Makes total sense to me."

"Yes!" Finn and Rachel both agreed in relief, smiles finally gracing their faces as they looked to Tina expectantly.

She looked at each of them in disbelief and promptly left the room.

…

"You're right, Finn. You _are _totally awesome on your feet." She deadpans on the subway a half hour later

He groans and slaps his hand to his forehead, "God, I know. I'm sorry, I just thought- I don't know. I didn't think they would react like…that."

"Do you think Tina was really upset?"

He considers it for a moment, "No, I don't think so. Probably just in shock, I didn't exactly ease them into it."

Rachel snorts and Finn's smile is filled with disbelief, "Did I actually use the term _tragic marriage_?"

Rachel barks out a laugh, "Not your best line. Though Tina is probably still scarred from when you asked her to homecoming sophomore year so…"

"Hey! You swore we'd never talk about that ever again!"

She raises her hands in surrender, giggling at the memory of Finn stumbling over the speech she'd helped him prepare for Tina so many years ago; there was rapping and beat boxing involved.

Finn winces a little, so she assumes he's reliving it as well. The line, "Tina your boots are so clean-a" comes rushing back to her and she's about to forgo their agreement of silence to make fun of him, when the subway jerks her straight into his chest.

"Shit." she mutters, trying to regain her balance

"Are you alright?" he asks, sighing when she nods, "Fuck. I hate the subway!"

"I know you do, but I refuse to keep shelling out $80 to various cab drivers across the city. I'm gonna have my own kid's college tuition to save for; I don't need to send Viktor the cab driver's kid to NYU."

He laughs, "Have you met Viktor's kid? No way he's going to college."

She rolls her eyes at him, knocking his hip with her own. He smiles down at her, but feels a secret thrill pass through him at Rachel's casual reference to a kid. _Their_ kid.

It was the first time she had talked about a kid in any real way. Other than what other people would think about it or the logistics of their situation, she had yet to mention this in any other way then some abstract endeavor they were embarking on together.

This was real, even if it was just some sarcasm about paying too much for cab fare; she was talking about a real live child.

The idea of a baby that was theirs, it was exhilarating.

…

Next, was a stop at Quinn and Puck's, where Rachel took the reins on a much more politically correct conversation. This couple was way more receptive to the idea, congratulating the pair, albeit after they made all the same assumptions Mike and Tina had, but still. Once they convinced Puck and Quinn that no, they would not be getting married or even dating and no they were not crazy, and no they didn't want one of the Puckerman kids instead; their friends rejoiced and went to get the champagne.

Finn and Rachel stared at each other with the same shocked, but pleased expressions, immediately deciding that Puck and Quinn were now officially the cooler couple. In the kitchen however,

"Oh my god!" Quinn whisper screamed as she reached up high for the champagne glasses

"This is, hands down, the dumbest thing they have ever done. And I'm counting the time they told Hiram they eloped on April fool's day." Puck scoffed, taking a swig from the champagne bottle

"Ugh! Noah! We're about to give this to our guests!"

"You mean the future parents? Good god, this is such a terrible idea."

Quinn nodded her head with wide eyes, but couldn't keep the baffled smile off her face, "I just- I can't even believe they would even think- I mean… this had to be all Rachel right?"

Puck nodded, "Definitely. I mean Finn can be an idiot, but he's not _that _stupid!"

Quinn gasped, "I cannot believe you just said that. You know we have three kids right?"

He breathed loudly, "I know."

Quinn was furious at Puck's blatant apathy and distaste towards their current lifestyle, but she wasn't about to start another fight with her pigheaded husband, not when their friends were here. She plastered on a smile and returned to the living room.

"Woo!" she cheered, handing them each a glass, before lifting her own, "Here's to the beginning of a wonderful journey for two of our very best friends. We love you guys."

Rachel awed and they all clinked glasses, "Thank you, Quinn. It's so nice to have your blessing, you guys and your kids were a huge part of the inspiration for this."

Puck looked shocked, but Finn continued anyway, "Yeah. If we have a kid half as awesome as yours we'll consider ourselves lucky."

Puck nodded and thanked them, finally wiping the look of surprise off his mouth and replacing it with his champagne glass.

Quinn smiled tightly before mumbling about napkins and hurrying out of the room.

Another half hour of reminiscing about Quinn's first pregnancy and Rachel wistfully drinking too many glasses of champagne, claiming it could be the last time she got to drink for a long time. Finn sent up silent thanks for that one, the only people he should be hauling on his back were kids. His kid. Their kid.

Rachel's five glasses of champagne later and they were back on the subway again. It was much emptier now; there were even some seats available. Though Rachel seemed much more content to swing around on one of the vacant poles, her head dangling backwards. One of the best parts of plastered Rachel is seeing her horrified expression when he gives her a full report of her drunken escapades the next morning; and this has all the makings of an epic story time, the pole, the stripper moves, the singing. He's egging her on, laughing at her explanation of what her stripper name would be,

"As you know, my father's would never let me have a pet to call my own, but m'first image- ima- imagining friend was a unicorn named…" she makes a big show of doing a drum roll on her thighs. Except she's wasted, so it's really slow and she misses her legs a couple of times, her tongue is pressed between her lips and her eyebrows scrunched in deep concentration. And it's really too funny to keep watching, because he's hysterical now and the lady in the trench coat and the teenager with one headphone in are staring at them.

He finally shows her some mercy, "Glitter!"

She pauses the daunting task of hitting her legs to look at him with thoroughly amazed eyes, "You remembered!"

Is she kidding? Rachel told him the story of her imaginary unicorn, Glitter, like 14 hundred times. She's always been so damn bitter about her dad's not getting her a pet. She still to this day rants about it, how she would've accepted any pet, anything! And how she didn't have any friends _or_ any pets so she had it ten times worse than anyone, and she totally could've trained a cat to not scratch their suede couch!

He doesn't want to get her started so he just says, "Of course."

She tilts her head and makes this scrunchy, pouty face at him, like he's a little kid that just said something cute, "Of course." She repeats. "I loved Glitter- so wait, what was I talking about?"

"Stripper name."

Her eyes are wide when she remembers. She points at him "Yes! My first pes'name was Glitter, and the first place I lived on was called…Broad Street! Sooo…Glitter Broad!" She looks excited for a second after solving the puzzle, but then her face turns in disgust. She sticks her tongue out like she just ate celery (her all time least favorite food), "That's a terrible stripper name!" she whines

He's not really paying attention though, because he laughing at her too hard, "Broad street is not the first street you've ever lived on, you goon! We live on Broad Street _now_; _Lake Road _is the first place you ever lived."

"Glitter Lake." She says wistfully, her eyes shining in front of her like she's looking at the name etched in the air. "Ooooh" she shivers, "I like it."

He shrugs, "Become a stripper then."

She finally plops down in the seat next to him, only to whack him across the chest, "Jerk."

"Hey! If it wasn't for me, you'd be Glitter Broad, show some appreciation!"

She sighs in defeat and rests her head on his shoulder, "You're right. You've been most helpful."

He shakes his head. He really hasn't been. The truth is he could've put a stop to this whole stripper name investigation 20 minutes ago, because he and Rachel have already had this discussion before. She was sleeping over his house their sophomore year and she had just read in some chick magazine that you could figure out your stripper name by combining the name of your first pet with the name of the first street you lived on. They're in his bed, munching on the Oreos he's not supposed to be eating in his room, when they figure out that she's Glitter Lake (She say's 'oooh, I like that' then too. Only with less champagne and more blushing.) and he's Rocky James.

He's glad she's finally calmed down though, so he won't rile her up by telling her this. Her eyes are starting to droop so he closes his eyes too. He's almost sleeping when her small voice whispers his name.

"Hm?" he answers, barely awake

"There's one last piece." She murmurs cryptically

He opens his eyes to find her staring at him, her face serious but expectant, "Last piece of what?"

"Of us- doing this… this baby thing."

Finn's eyebrows knit together as he wracks his brain for something they've forgotten. They agreed to share the responsibilities, even drafting a contract to be sure, they've told their parents, all of whom thought they were getting together and cried when they clarified and cried some more when they realized this was serious. And they've told their friends and they both really, _really_ want this, so what else is there?

"What?" he finally asks

"You know-" she says, gesturing between them. And no, he doesn't know, because she's not saying anything, and she's not explaining anything and since when is flapping her arm back and forth an answer to a question?

She groans at him loudly, which usually means she's trying to use their best friend telekinetic powers and he's just _not_ getting it. Which happens pretty often actually, they are really good at conveying things with just a look though, he can read Rachel better than anyone and she can determine what he's thinking before he can, so okay, 50/50. But right now, zero.

"Finn! Just _think_ about it."

Now it's his turn to groan, because why is she avoiding saying this so hard? If she wants to back out he'd be super pissed, but better now than later. "Rachel, I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Finn, _how_ are we going to do this?"

"We've talked about this. Share the responsibilities and you look for your guy after-"

She waves him off, "No I don't mean how are we going to do that part. I mean how are we going to do_ it. _It, it."

Oh. _Oh! _She means like _it. _How are they going to make the baby? They've talked about how to raise it, what sports teams the baby will root for, and whether or not the kid will go to private school, and if Rachel will breast feed, and if they'll sing the kid lullabies or play them off an iPod, and if they'll watch Sesame Street or Barney. But they haven't talked about _this_.

Rachel's looking at him with questioning eyes and he's not sure if she even realizes she's doing it, but her hand is resting on her flat stomach and shit… how _are_ they going to get a baby in there?

.

.

.

So a lot of readers seem to be wondering about how they're going to make this baby and now so are the parents to be! Stay tuned to find out! Review to let me know how you'd like it to go down and of course to let me know what you thought of the chapter!


	5. Bone and Get it Over With

Hey ya'll, little warning, there is some mild, tasteful smut ahead. Nothing graphic or super raunchy, but smut nonetheless. Just a friendly alert, otherwise, enjoy!

Chapter 5: Bone and Get It Over With

"I just don't understand why we can't just get really wasted and then, you know… do it."

_Ugh_! He was such a pig!

They had been considering their options for over an hour, which was really just Finn suggesting something ludicrous and crude and her rejecting all of his ideas with disgust.

"Because Finn! Like I told you an hour ago, I don't want to conceive a baby while I'm too intoxicated to remember it!"

He rubs his hands over his eyes and lets out a frustrated groan, "I thought the whole point was that you wanted it to be, like- unmemorable. We both agree it's going to be super awkward, so shouldn't we be as hazy as possible?"

"Yes, it'll be awkward, but this isn't some one night stand that forgot to wear a condom and knocked me up. Regardless of the unorthodox way were going about this, we're still making this baby from a place of love and I want it to feel that way, not like some random hook up I can barely remember."

He sighs, "Alright. Ok, you're right, you're right. But then, how do we do it?"

"Our other option is in vitro. We'd use my eggs and your sperm. The baby is still genetically ours; we just don't _actually_ have to have intercourse."

He looks nervous, "But isn't it way harder to get pregnant that way? And doesn't it make it more likely to have twins? Or even triplets!?" His eyes go wide, "God, Rachel what if you're like that octo-mom lady and you have 8 of them!"

She's trying really hard not to laugh at that terrified look on his face, "Finn-"

"No, I'm serious Rachel! One kid is scary enough, what if we inject this weird, egg- sperm mix into you and a bunch of babies pop out!"

She stares at him seriously. If Rachel's signs of spiraling were her epic, endless rants, Finn's sign was how outrageous his worries became the more nervous he got.

Case and point, the night before they took their SAT'S, Finn got suddenly terrified that a pigeon would fly into the classroom, steal his test, render all his work useless and kill his chances of getting into college.

She put her hands on his shoulders and took a deep breath knowing he'd mimic the motion, "Finn, will you relax? We're just discussing here, not making any decisions."

"Well I think we should just like…bone and get it over with."

She shook her head at his gross language, but relented, "I agree."

"You do?"

"Yes. I agree that in vitro is more risky, and the likelihood of getting pregnant is a lot less, and while I don't share your fear of getting pregnant with a massive amount of children, it just seems like a better idea all around."

He let out a breath of relief, "Great, so…"

"So we're going to have to do it the old fashion way."

He grimaced, "Yeah. But seriously... it's gonna be like boning my sister."

She clenches her fists and closes her eyes tightly, the ridiculousness of the conversation getting to her "Finn, if you say the word boning one more time, I swear to God, I will castrate you."

"Easy there, crazy. If you castrate me, there'll be no one to put a baby in you." He smirks at her and she rolls her eyes. He was annoying, but he was right. He sees her defeated stance and leans into her ear, "Boning."

The scream she lets out is epic and it only makes him laugh harder. He knows from experience that he needs to get out of the line of fire so he takes off, climbing over the couch and heading towards his room.

She's hot on his heels, "You better run, jackass. You're going to think the time I caught you reading my diary was a picnic compared to this."

He slams the door behind him, leaning against it. "Dear diary, will I ever get boobs?" he quotes in a high pitched voice.

She grits her teeth, pushing both her palms up against the door, he was bigger and stronger, but she was determined, and she was still not over that whole diary thing…

His giggling on the other side of the door only fuels her rage and she lets out what can only be described as a war cry before charging full force at his bedroom door.

"Holy shit!" he squeals as the force from her body knocks the door, and consequently, him, onto the ground

She straddles him so he can't move, victory written all over her face, "Jesus Christ Rachel! Are you sure you're not already pregnant? Do you have superhuman pregnant strength or something?"

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, it's always fun and games until…" she doesn't need to explain any further once his high pitched screaming fills the apartment…

It never mattered how big Finn was, or how much football he played, a good purple nurple always had him crying for his mommy.

She showed no restraint, twisting the skin tight between her fingers, "Stop! Rachel stop!" he was squirming beneath her, his face red and contorted in pain.

"Say you're sorry!"

"Sorry! I'm sorry!"

God he was such a wuss! Good thing she was going to be the one in labor. Five seconds of painful nipples and he was completely at her mercy.

Finally, she lets go, prompting a loud breath of relief from Finn. He placed his hands gingerly over his chest, "Fuck, Rachel! That diary thing was like 15 years ago-"

"Well you made it clear I couldn't castrate you so…"

"Right, so ripping off my nipples was clearly the next best choice."

"Well I know how you feel about your man boobs-"

"Hilarious." He says dryly, rolling his eyes when she laughs at her own joke. It means her defenses are down though, so he quickly seizes the opportunity to switch their positions. Before she even knows what's happening, he's on top of her, pinning her arms at her side.

She's speechless for a second, but quickly calls his bluff, "So what? Do I get the purple nurple now?" It isn't until after the words fly from her mouth that she realizes the implications of them.

And suddenly something has changed.

It's not a subtle change and she's certainly not mistaken. They've wrestled like this a million times before and she's never thought anything of it, but there's something in the air now, it's electric and palpable and new, born from the way he's looking down at her so intensely.

They haven't even decided how or when they'll have reluctant, awkward sex to make this baby, and she's pretty sure Finn still wants to be drunk for the whole thing but, the way he's staring at her…

"Finn." She whispers, and she doesn't even know what she wants to say, but she has to say _something_.

"Just- just. I-" his voice is raspy, like his throat his too dry for words to fit through. But he stares at her mouth for a moment before leaning in to place a soft kiss on her lips.

They've actually done this part before. It's kind of an unspoken memory between the two of them, but Finn was her first kiss.

They were at this boy, girl party junior year and this bitchy senior had honed in her for some reason that night. She kept teasing Rachel about how no boy would ever hook up with a girl wearing argyle. She was relentless, until Finn finally stepped in and kissed Rachel. Innocent and quick, but enough to shut the girl up.

Maybe it was unspoken between them because he didn't remember. But she did, and his lips were just as soft and warm now as they were then.

His eyes are shut tight, uncomfortably so, and she knows he's worried he'll chicken out if he looks at her for too long.

She tentatively opens her mouth waiting for his tongue to move with her own, but he pulls away to take a deep breath instead.

It's not that it's not nice, it is. But he feels like he's approaching the line of no return. Like if they stop right now, it'll just be that weird night they kissed a little bit. But if he takes it further, then he won't be able to take it back.

This whole thing is just _weird. _Because it's nice kissing Rachel, and there's a part of him that wants to move farther and faster, but then there's another huge part that can't stop remembering going to Rachel's dance recitals with her dads, and playing video games in his basement.

How is he supposed to separate sex with a beautiful girl, from his completely platonic relationship with his best friend?

This is the kind of predicament he would normally talk to Rachel about, but he obviously can't and it's just-

"Finn." She finally says, breaking through his frantic thoughts, "Finn, what are you thinking?"

"I don't- I'm not-"

"Finn, it's me. You know you can tell me anything." She has that earnest look in her eyes that's so very Rachel. He's always felt safe sharing his secrets with her and that look is why.

"I just- what if… what if this changes something? And what if it's like- too weird? What if it's too hard for me to imagine you as anything other than my sister? I -"

"Finn," she interrupts with a hand to his lips "Do you still want to have this baby?"

"More than anything."

"And you still want to have it with me?"

He smiles in earnest, "I can't think of anyone better for the job."

She tries to not beam too much at that, because she doesn't want to freak him out. But telling her that is so perfectly Finn in a way that she really loves. Just 10 minutes ago she wanted to rip his face off, but all the same, no one can make her feel important and needed and valued like he does. It what's going to make him an incredible father.

"Then let's just treat this as a means to an end… in the most delicate way possible."

He laughs at her trademark, Rachel Berry-impossible logic, "How do we do that?"

She lifts one shoulder, "Instead of trying to separate our friendship feelings with our…sexual feelings, let's just treat it as a completely different entity. We love each other and we're having a baby, and this is the way to make it happen. So just think about what we're doing it for."

"Well usually, I try not to think about babies while I'm having sex…"

She slaps his arm, "You know what I mean."

He nods, "Yeah. Yeah, I do. So, do you- do you maybe wanna… go on the bed?"

It makes her feel a little better that he's so clumsy and nervous. She should probably want him to be calm and reassuring and in control, but she's seen his smooth, flirting routine with other girls and seeing him like this with her, it lets her know that this is more important than any of his conquests. That _she's_ more important.

She nods shyly and he pushes himself off of her, offering his hand to help her to her feet.

They walk to the bed, standing on opposite sides and facing each other uneasily. And it's so quiet. Like uncomfortably quiet, hearing the tap, tap, tap of the radiator quiet, and she can't take these prolonged silences!

"I'm sorry my boobs are so small." She blurts out before really thinking about it. Her hand immediately flies to her mouth as though she can somehow force the words back in her throat with the speed of the motion.

"Oh my god." She gasps in horror, waiting for him to run away screaming. But instead he's laughing at her. Of course he is.

She huffs and throws the nearest pillow at him. "Finn!"

He puts his hands up apologetically, though he's still laughing. "I'm sorry. It's not funny, it's not."

"Uh huh." She rolls her eyes knowingly, sitting on the bed.

"Okay, it's a little funny. But only cause you're such a psycho. Is that your opening line for all your guys?"

She stares at him unamused.

"I'm just saying, it would explain _a lot." _

He laughs at his own joke and nudges her with his shoulder when she won't play along. "Come on! I'm just kidding. Besides, I've already seen your boobs."

She gapes at him, "Liar!"

"I'm not lying! Junior year, that blonde girl was hunting me down for screwing her roommate-"

"Oh yeah! Jessica Resnick! She's an accountant now you know-"

"Yeah, whatever. She was lurking around my room so I had to hide…luckily my trusty best friend lived right down the hall and never locked the door- not even when she got out of the shower…"

"Oh my god, I totally forgot about that! I'd never heard that sound come out of you before. You were so scared."

"Well yeah, before that I just pretended you didn't have boobs, or any lady parts for that matter."

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" She shrieks, "What am I just some weird, amorphous blob of skin to you?"

"Kind of." He shrugged

"Well now I feel _so_ much better."

He rolls his eyes, "Whatever. The point I'm trying to make is, I've seen your boobs and they're like... nice"

She blushes, "You think so?"

"Totally."

She feels a surge of confidence overtake her. Finn's seen a lot of boobs, and he wouldn't lie to her about this. "Even though they're your sister's boobs?" she says with a wicked smile

"Please don't." He groans

She laughs a little, but turns serious again as she starts to bridge the gap between them. She moves tentatively, still feeling so strange. But he's staring at her in that way again, so she just goes for it.

She kisses him hard and he seems a little less cautious this time around. Like maybe now that they've made fun of her for a while it's broken the ice somehow. She should've known.

He leans his weight towards her so she's lying back on the bed and without jostling them or hesitating at all; he reaches one long arm to swiftly shut off the lamp on her nightstand.

Okay, she kind of gets it now.

The thing is, she knows Finn is good looking; it's pretty easy to see. The whole tall, broad shoulders, strong jaw line, mixed with the endearing dimples is kind of a lethal weapon. So she _knows _what other women see in him. She just doesn't see it herself. It's like all these years Finn has been that jigsaw puzzle you stuffed in the back of your closet, one of those big ones that's missing a couple pieces. She had all these different parts of him, his silly sense of humor, his support and affection and protection. But those missing pieces? She thinks she found them and it's- she just gets it, okay? His weight is strong above her and his tongue is hot against her own and she gets it.

His eyes are closed, but not in that terrified, anxious way they were before. But just as quick as she notices, they're suddenly open and staring at her as he catches his breath.

Wow. She's seen him look a lot of ways, before this she probably would have said she's seen him look _every_ way.

She's seen him devastated and elated and confused and torn and angry; ashamed, envious, embarrassed, and protective, but never like this. Never…smoldering.

It feels ridiculous to even _think _it, but she feels like simply being held under his gaze is setting her whole body on fire. And they're not even kissing anymore. His heaving chest is knocking against her breathless body and he's staring her down and she is going to burst into flames right here and now.

She gets that overwhelming urge to say something again, but what could she possibly say? So she just opens her mouth, her hot breath coming out in pants.

"Finn" she finally breathes

His face changes ever so slightly once she speaks, it's returned to a look that she recognizes. His mouth pulls up on one side, his smirk signaling he's about to make a joke.

She holds his face with both her hands before he has the chance, "Finn." She says seriously, "Don't. Just please-"

The wantonness in her voice surprises her, almost as much as how much she wants this. Was this how it was supposed to be? This seismic shift? The intensity in his gaze? She had never felt it before, with Finn or with anyone.

She was just as afraid of the awkwardness as he was, the persistent thought that he was her family fooling her into thinking that this would somehow be impossible. But she's starting to think this just might be all the more possible because…because it's _Finn_. She loves him more than any man she's ever shared her bed with and they're going to create a life together. And she knows everything will be ok.

She takes a deep breath and glances up at him once more before reaching to pull her shirt over her head.

His breath hitches and his entire body constricts above her. She really doesn't want to laugh in his face, but this is all just so absurd. He's slept with plenty of women, seen them all topless, seen_ her_ topless_, _yet here he is_, _panicking like some teenaged virgin. It was kind of exhilarating, to be honest. It made her feel sexy and empowered and like she was the in control, sane one for once.

_ "_You're nervous." She says, looking into his anxious eyes

"No."

"You are. I can feel how fast your heart is beating, and you haven't moved in like 2 minutes."

He gives her an annoyed glare, "Rachel…"

"I'm just saying, you're supposed to be all, _Mr. Ladies Man I've seen your boobs before no big deal_, but really-"

"Rachel!"

"What!?" she shrieks "I'm the one with her boobs out; I should be the one who's nervous!"

He groans and pulls at his shirt roughly, "There. Now we both have our boobs out! Happy?"

She laughs warmly, remembering how much she truly adores this man. She pulls him close so that their bare chests are touching, "Yes."

…

He's pretty well versed in the vast collection of Rachel Berry expressions. His most honed skill being the ability to differentiate between "happy" Rachel, and_ genuinely_ happy Rachel. It's in the eyes. When she's pretending to be happy, like when she accepted her second place trophy at the McKinley talent show, her smile is tight. It's pretty deceiving because she still shows all her teeth and it's bright and beaming, but he knows better.

He knows that when she's really smiling, it reaches all the way to her eyes. There are still teeth and an unparalleled beam, but her eyes, when she's truly, _truly_ happy, they just sparkle. It's the cheesiest sounding thing in the world, but there's really no other way to describe it. They have this spark and life that kind of seep into his soul and warm him from the inside out.

Right now she looks truly, sincerely, exceptionally,_ happy_. Her eyes are glistening up at him and he feels this serenity engulf his entire body. And for the first time since her kissed her, he feels like everything's going to work out okay.

"This is going to sound weird-" he starts, leaning on his elbows above her, "But- but you know that I love you right?"

"Of course you do, you're my best friend."

He smiles at her and nods his reassurance, "I love you too." She promises with finality, because they both know that's the last thing that needs to be said.

After that, it's kind of a blur of shaking hands removing clothes and nervous breaths into each other's skin. He's so anxious that he can't look anywhere but her face. He can feel her though, naked beneath him; her pert breasts grazing the sensitive skin of his stomach, the heat from her core he's too afraid to touch.

He holds his breath when he pushes into her, so cautious and slow; the need to protect her present even now, because it's _Rachel,_ and she's always been so, so precious to him.

It all feels like so much. The way she whispers his name, her sweaty palm clinging to his back, her walls clenching around him. It's as though everything is intensified in the anticipation of the life they could very well be making in this exact moment.

…

He's being very careful with her, she knows this. He moves slowly, it's almost excruciating how slow. And yet it still feels like- like everything.

Like every joke they've shared and tear he's caught on her cheek, every cab ride and silly fight, every kindness and encouragement, has all lead up to this.

His movements quicken and his thrusts get deeper and he must be close, but he's waiting for her, ever her patient best friend.

She almost doesn't want to let go, doesn't want to willingly let go of this fleeting, earnest moment between them. But soon enough it's all too much. He's panting her name and she clenches her eyes tightly as she comes, praying that whatever magic that creates a life is with them right now.

Because she wants a baby so badly. And she wants it with him. And there are fireworks bursting behind her eyelids and she's not sure her body could handle this intense, passion a second time.

She had thought that if there were any time she could overlook the unusual circumstance they were in; it would be now, falling into pleasure and complete ecstasy. But it's exactly the opposite.

She feels it now, more acutely than before, it's like a mantra bouncing off the walls of her skull as her body shudders beneath him. _Finn. Finn. Finn._

And as abruptly and unpredictably as it began, it's over.

He falls next to her and he looks like he's recovering in every sense of the word; physically, emotionally, mentally. He looks pensive and reflective and so, so still. And she wants to know what he's thinking and how he's feeling but, surprisingly enough, she doesn't feel like the silence needs to be filled with anything at all.

She moves her body against his, curling into his side like she's done so many times before. In the adolescent pink of her Lima bedroom, in their tiny college beds, the disgusting apartment he shared with four guys; the same sleepover position they've been in countless times. She's both surprised and pleased to realize that this is still the same. That everything is okay. They're still best friends, they're still _them_. She lets her eyes flutter closed and falls asleep smiling at the thought of him and of a life soon to come.

…

She's long since fallen asleep and for some reason his mind wanders to this random memory. Well it's not so random; really, it's just something they never ever talk about. It was this party junior year and this bitch was ragging on Rachel so hard. He remembers wishing she would cut it out, he liked Rachel's sweaters and he hated when people at school made fun of her. The girl kept talking about hooking up with boys and people who were hot, and okay it's not that he wanted to kiss Rachel, but this girl was seriously getting on his nerves. Before he could even think it through fully (because he totally would've chickened out if he had) he just went for it. Kissed her right there in front of the whole party.

He never told her it was his first kiss, and they never spoke of it again. It was so long ago, and the kiss was so short-lived, she probably doesn't even remember.

He doesn't know why he thinks of that now, but he stays awake for a little longer, appreciating the significance of the moment. His mind shockingly clear; certain and optimistic about their plan more so than ever before. He feels content, comfortable in the familiarity of sleeping beside her, well familiar besides the whole naked thing. He hopes that Rachel feels as easy as he does and more than anything else, he hopes that there's a baby in their future.

A/N: Sorry if the bounce back between points of views was a little confusing, I hope it made sense and I hope you all enjoyed! Let me know what you think and as always, what you'd like to see! Up Next: Is Rachel pregnant?! We shall find out…


	6. The Morning(s) After

Chapter 6 : The Morning(s) After

She's alone when she wakes up. She tries not to take it too personally, because for as long as she's been having sleepovers with Finn, his stomach's woken him up before her.

But this is more than a normal sleepover, she reminds herself. Lying in his big bed, tangled in their dirty sheets, it dredges up those feelings that come with a one night stand. The instant regret and embarrassment, and always (for her at least) the dim hope that maybe, just _maybe, _this one night stand is more than just one night, that maybe it's _the_ one.

Rachel shakes the thoughts away, the hope and the indignity, because they have no place here. Because this is _not_ a one night stand, she tells herself again.

This is Finn and Finn won't make up some lame excuse about a meeting he has to rush off to. And Finn's wife won't call while he's in the bathroom, and Finn won't say he has a job when he really lives with his mother. Finn will be here, just like he always has been.

And yet, Finn left her in his bed alone! Her brain reiterates indignantly. She could be pregnant with his child and he left her to what? Gestate his kid while he eats a grand slam breakfast?!

She punches the pillow, suddenly and irrevocably angry with him for abandoning her. She starts planning their argument in her head. Something she does often. One of the perks of knowing someone so well is being able to accurately predict exactly what they might say in any given situation.

In her mind, he acts really cavalier about the whole thing. He says something stupid and entirely Finn, like 'What? I was hungry." He might even have a slice of bacon dangling out of his dumb mouth when he says it. And she'll question whether he really is as invested in this as he promises. And then he'll roll his eyes and tell her that he's already told her a million times he is. And then she'll accuse him of not taking this seriously. And then he'll say how annoying she is. And then she'll say something she regrets like, 'I hope I'm not actually pregnant cause I could never have a baby with you!' and then she'd feel guilty. But how dare he make her feel guilty?! He's the one who left her in bed alone!

She's irate now, and she's done it all on her own. She can't even untangle herself from the sheets she's so angry. But when she finally gets her damn leg removed from this rubix cube of a bed… Finn's going to get a piece of her mind! Finn is going to wish he never left this bed! Finn is-

Bringing her breakfast in bed?

"Hey!" he greets "Thank God you sleep like a rock or I would've never been able to impress you with my cooking prowess. All those episodes of Top Chef are totally paying off!" He boasts eagerly with a flourish of his hand to present her with the tray.

"Bacon? Eggs? Pancakes?! Jeez, Finn what's the occasion?"

He scoffs, "The occasion is I put a baby inside you!"

She sends him one of her patented, _Finn you are such an idiot_, stares and he relents, "Okay, _maybe_ I put a baby in there."

She laughs and rolls her eyes at him, picking up a fork to dig in, "And if you didn't?"

"Well then, I might as well fatten you up. You're old and way past your prime anyway. If you're gonna be a spinster, might as well enjoy it with some empty calories and pig fat."

The grin he sends her his deadly. She'd normally get him back with some comment about the way he stuffs his face on a regular basis, but these pancakes really are amazing, "You weren't kidding…these are awesome."

He beams, "Right?!"

She nods through her mouthful of pancakes, relaxed again amidst their typical banter.

"Hey, Rach?"

"mmm?" she mumbles into her coffee cup. She'd be embarrassed at how ravenously she's eating this breakfast if anyone other than Finn was watching her.

"Last night, I mean- what…like what are you thinking?"

She's thinking a lot of things…she swallows the gross lump of pancake batter and scrambled eggs thickly and looks him in the eye, "I'm thinking…I'm thinking that- that I hope we made a baby." She shrugs as though she's not sure it's the right answer

He lets out a sigh of relief, "Me too. A lot. And like, I'm so glad we didn't do some bizarre test tube-science experiment. It was weird at first, but it felt…right." he winces, "That sounds dirty, I don't mean-"

She puts her hand on his, "I know, Finn... I know what you mean. It was right."

He smiles warmly at her, "So now what?"

"Well, now we wait. In a few days, I'll take a pregnancy test and we'll see what happens."

"And maybe we'll have a kid?"

She smiles at the thought, "Maybe we'll have a kid."

* * *

Rachel says they just wait, like it's the simplest, most natural thing in the world. And at the time, it seemed like it. I mean you have to wait 9 months for a baby anyway, so what are another few days?

A lot apparently.

Because he can't exist normally in the city anymore, not in the way he used to at least.

Like his commute to work. Every day he takes the subway to Essex street and grabs a coffee from the cart on the corner, and then he walks the rest of the way to his office, passing a variety of stores and restaurants and office buildings, even a private school in the span of only two city blocks. He's done it since he started his job at this advertising firm 10 years ago, it's one of those autopilot things he could do with his eyes closed.  
Except today feels different. He does the subway, and he greets Tony the coffee cart guy, whom Finn is close enough with to send a Christmas card to every year. They talk about the Giants game last night and Tony asks about Rachel and he suddenly feels the urge to jump up and down or yell or do a cheer or _something_, because he can't wait to be able to tell Tony that Rachel is pregnant the next time he asks, he can't wait to tell _everybody_. (He knows it's weird he's this close with his coffee guy, but he's bought coffee from Tony every week day for ten years. And Tony's like the nicest guy ever. Plus, coffee is imperative for his survival. So sue him. He's tight with his coffee guy) Anyways, he tells Tony that Rachel is doing well and leaves it at that, then makes his way towards his office. He's feeling pretty good, pretty optimistic about everything that happened on Saturday night with Rachel and then he spots it from way too far away.

He feels like a superhero or something, like his senses have been fine tuned into seeing things like this. Like when you've never heard a song before and then suddenly you hear it on every radio station you switch to. Because before he can even look for it, his eyes spot a woman, a mother, holding hands with her young son as they approach the private school on his path to work.

The woman kneels down to her freckle-faced son and says something presumably cheery, based on the look on her face. Her son responds in turn and hugs her goodbye. He runs towards the open doors and his mother waves to his retreating form.

Perfectly ordinary interaction between a mother and son. Perfectly boring interaction for the streets of New York City, but he is frozen in place.

The kid was just so sweet looking, with those tiny freckles and the missing tooth right in front! And the mini-dress shirt he was wearing and his little leather- oh my god! He was turning into a woman- no not a woman, a _girl._ An annoying girl, who gushes over baby clothes and waving byebye- And Jesus Christ! He's_ actually _crying! What the hell is wrong with him!?

He's watching a woman, and he's not looking at her boobs or coming up with the best approach at asking her out. He's looking at her _kid_. And he's _crying_.

Holy crap, he was totally going to be one of _those_ parents.

There was no turning back now…

He couldn't be more excited.

* * *

The second time they have sex they actually do get drunk.

They don't even get to do the whole taking of the test thing. She gets her period before they can even attempt to find out for themselves.

It makes it worse. If that's even possible. It makes it so much worse that she found out in the stall of her office restroom, hovering over the toilet and avoiding the mysterious hazards of a wet bathroom floor. She wasn't ready to fail, and she certainly wasn't ready to fail on anything other than her own terms.

Finn's voice breaks a little when he tells her that it's no big deal, they can try again. He does his best to try to be positive, but the news must make him forget how easy it is for her to see through his cover.

And she's sad like he is, and disappointed and discouraged, but mostly she's just _angry_. Why couldn't something,_ just once_, work out as she had planned it. Why did it have to be so hard?

And yeah, she's knows it was stupid to just assume they'd get pregnant on the first try just because of how badly they want this. But it just doesn't seem all that fair that two people who make a conscious decision to have a baby don't get pregnant.

And seriously universe? How many promiscuous cheerleaders and negligent women had gotten pregnant _without_ wanting to? Why should they get the babies if they're just going to get them like…sucked out or whatever?

And honestly, she's pretty sure she made it clear before when she prayed_, _actually _prayed_ for a baby….while Finn was inside her! Sure, God's name must come up a lot during sex all around the world, but to actually pray while having intercourse?! That's dedication right there.

Rachel eyed the shot on the bar thoughtfully; she really shouldn't do another one. It had been a whole 2 weeks since they had found out she was undoubtedly, baby free; she should be over it by now. Not to mention she had work in the morning and she's already had… four? Seven? Who knows? Either way she shouldn't, although... Finn did take his-

"Hey! You did it without me!" she whines

"You were taking too long, I got thirsty!"

"No!" she points her finger at him, "No, Finn! You always do the shot together, thass' the rules."

Finn rolls his eyes at her so severely he almost falls off his chair. He's plastered.

"Finn," she pouts, "I really wanted a baby."

"We're still gonna have a baby." He says, flagging over the bartender "We just gotta _hiccup _try 'gan. Two more Roberto!"

The bartender cuts them off with a judgmental stare and another assertion that his name is Bob, _just Bob_, not Roberto.

"Fine Bobby!" Finn scoffs, "Keep your tequila! We don't want it anyway!"

Rachel's giggling at him as they stumble out of the bar, both foolishly leaning on the other for support, "Finn, Finn wait. I need to- I have to, my shoes."

They're on a New York City sidewalk so it's kind of loud, even at 2 am, but his cackling has to be heard throughout all of downtown Manhattan.

"Rachel!" he squeals, "That doesn't even mean anything! What are you even saying?!"

She looks up at him, deeply offended, "My feet hurt!" she screeches right before she takes her shoes off.

And in a moment of peculiar and fleeting clarity, he realizes how wasted they must be if she is willing to walk barefoot down these streets. She should watch out for syringes and like, used condoms and pee and stuff. Does he say that out loud?

"Finn, I really wanted a baby." She tells him again as they sway down the street together

He huffs, "Rachel! I told you, we're gonna have a baby! You just gotta chill out cause like babies- you have to be patient with a baby. They don't like to always come, but then they do when they want to." He stops walking and squints down at her, "Does that make sense?"

Rachel isn't even sure she heard what he said. But on the plus side, she does abruptly recognize they've passed their apartment building before they've gone too far ahead. And so she turns his body around, a daunting task since he fights her on it, refusing to believe they missed their building.

They make it past Hank the doorman, who has the decency to at least try to hide his smile. They fall into the elevator and only press the wrong number twice before finally making it to Rachel's floor.

She's only just passed Mrs. Hillard's apartment when she notices that Finn is still trailing behind her.

"Finn! Your apartment is on the fifth floor, not the second!"

"I know! But you have the banana bread!" he whisper screams as though it's some huge secret

She relents. She does have the banana bread.

Finn barrels through the doorway as soon as the lock clicks, and the bread is in his mouth before she can even close the door behind her.

"So good." He mumbles through a mouthful "You're totally gonna be that mom that bakes stuff for like… soccer games or whatever."

That doesn't completely make sense and she knows he's super, super drunk so she should just brush it off, but you know what? She's drunk too so, "Shut up, Finn!"

He stops scarfing down banana bread long enough to looked shocked at her outburst.

"Just shut up and stop acting like its sooo obvious we're gonna have a baby. Like- like it's a fact or something. Just stop! We _didn't_ get pregnant Finn, THAT'S a fact."

He drops the banana bread on the ground in a drunken display of overdramatic, "What are you getting mad at me for?!" He yells, spitting banana bread everywhere. "I did my job! I put the- the… I- I did the sex!"

"Don't you dare throw banana bread in my house, Finn Hudson! You pick that up right now!"

She's bossy and screeching and he hates this version of drunk Rachel, especially when he's this version of drunk Finn; stammering, obstinate…hungry!

He should just ignore her, but the banana bread is too fricken good to waste and like, 5 second rule so…

He picks it up, missing all the crumbs he made on the floor, while making new ones with his careless clean up job.

"There's still a mess!"

He brushes her off with a grunt, he hates that dumb way she's standing, with her hands on her hips and that dumb expectant look on her face likes she's his mother or something. He so should call her a mom again, that'd totally piss her off.

When he waves her away and starts eating the banana bread again, the banana bread _she _made, in _her_ house, which was on_ her_ floor (gross!), she thinks she's entered another realm of anger.

"UGH! First you failed to get me pregnant and now you failed to clean up your mess!"

"I failed?!" he sneers, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, "Why is it my fault, uterus lady! Maybe you're the one that failed!"

"Oh really? I'm the one that failed? What my egg just ran away from your sperm? No! It was you!"

"No you!"

They're arguing like kindergarteners in the sandbox, and somewhere, in some temporarily asleep, logical part of their brains, they must know this. But right now, it doesn't make the argument any more intelligent.

She points her finger right in his face, standing at her full height to go toe to toe with him, "Take it back, Finn. Take it back right now! It was not me it was you!"

"No way! It was you and I'll prove it."

"Prove it?! How are you gonna pr-"

Banana bread and tequila makes a weird combination. She knows this because she can taste it on Finn's tongue. And she can taste it on his tongue because Finn is kissing her. He's kissing her hard and drunk and sloppy and she's so, so mad at him and she can't even remember why.

She pushes him off, "What are you doing?!"

He doesn't answer. Instead he lifts her over his shoulder and heads towards the bedroom.

"I'm gonna put a baby in you for real this time." He crows, "THAT'S what I'm doing!"

* * *

The third time they have sex they're also drunk. Because it's right after the second time. He says something about making sure his seed is planted or some equally chauvinistic and disgusting gem. She can't think clearly with the bizarre mix of tequila, rage and pleasure clouding her brain.

She couldn't even tell you if they finished having sex…either time. She doesn't know what position they were in or what he said or she thought. What she does know is that this time, it really does feel like the morning after a one night stand.

It feels like her tongue is glued to the roof of her mouth, her head is throbbing and she's one sudden movement away from barfing all over him. Since he's kinda, like, on top of her.

Okay, not laying on top of her with his entire body, cause the guy is huge and she's pretty sure she'd be dead if that were the case- actually… that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world right now. But his arm is draped over her and his leg is curled around her like she's some human body pillow. He's drooling on her sheets and is that- are there crumbs on his face?

Oh god, she needs to get out of this bed and- yep. Yep, that's definitely tequila making its way back up to say good morning. She makes it to the toilet just in time.

There's no way they're making it to work today. Moreover, if he was as drunk as she kind of- sort of remembers, he might not make it the next day either.

She rolls him over so that she can get back in bed, he doesn't even flinch. Not even a sigh in his sleep. She checks to make sure he's actually breathing, puts some pajamas on and goes back to sleep.

* * *

When Finn wakes up he realizes two things very quickly; he's naked, and he's hung over.

He's not exactly sure why he's naked or hung over, but he could make pretty good guesses on both can't think or remember or summon any kind of plan of action besides peeing, and peeing now.

He has to figure this out first though, should he roll to his right, which will lead directly into a sprint to the bathroom. Or should he turn to his left and find out exactly why he is currently naked in bed.

Based on previous experiences alone…sometimes its best not to look. Right roll to the bathroom it is.

He does it quick, like ripping off a Bandaid, but goddamn it still feels like the whole world is slanted. He splashes some water on his face after he's done and it truly does nothing at all. Why was he so fricken' hung over? What the hell happened last night? He can't exert enough brain power to attempt figuring it out, he needs sleep.

He starts walking back to bed; almost close enough to heave his body onto it when he steps on something mushy. A huge lump of what feels like cake and smushes between his toes and even makes a terrible, squishing noise that makes his stomach lurch. He recoils instantly, the movement making him fall over, he's gagging and holding his foot as he plummets on to the bed landing face first, and honestly, for a hot second, he legitimately thinks his head explodes. Like when he looks up, if he can still see that is, there will be little pieces of brain and skull scattered all over his bed because his head .Exploded.

Only when he finally looks up, there's no brain matter adorning his sheets, its Rachel.

It's Rachel staring at him with eyes that are equally concerned and pissed off at being woken up.

Wait.

Has he been at Rachel's this entire time? He knew the bathroom felt different, he just thought it seemed so bright because he was in so much pain, not because Rachel thinks the color pink is like, a religion or something.

Why is he in Rachel's apartment? In Rachel's bed? And why is she wearing pajamas when he's naked and what the _hell_ happened last night?

"You should really puke." She moves to go back under the covers, "It's gross, but it helps."

And that's it. That's all she says before she tucks herself back in the bed. Back in her bed, where she slept, with him, while he was _naked_.

And she just wants him to go puke?! No further explanation? No- he catches a glimpse of his foot, covered in soft, brown…something. And suddenly, barfing's not the worst idea.

He does and he really does feel a bit better. Well enough to at least get Rachel's ass out of bed and figure out what exactly is going on.

He calls her name, but she doesn't respond. He shakes her shoulder, but she doesn't budge, he moves the covers off her, she stays frozen in place.

Fine. He can play this game, and he can win.

Finn holds the mug right beside her face, blowing the steam right into her nose. He can see the smoke lines invade her nostrils like they're in a cartoon. She sniffs a few times and her head starts following the smell, moving closer to the mug as he pulls it further from her face.

She groans, "Finn!"

He stands at the foot of the bed, victorious smirk on his face and two coffee cups in hand, "You have to wake up if you want some."

She's half way between sitting up and the pillow and she halts there, seemingly considering her options.

"It's the real kind…made it in the machine and everything." She perks up a little further, "Two sugars." A little more, "Extra cream."

He takes an extra loud slurp, "Mmmmmm. So good…"

That does it. She's up and grabbing for the mug within seconds.

She moves a tangled clump of hair from her face to take a long sip, accompanied by a moan of appreciation.

"Yes. This is so good; it almost doesn't feel like everything inside my head is trying to escape through my eye sockets anymore."

He ignores the graphic imagery and gets right to the point, "What happened last night? Why are we so hung over? And why was I naked?"

"Oh I was naked too." She blurts before she can even think about omitting that small fact.

"Wait, what? We were both naked? Then why are you wearing clothes, and how did we end up at your place? And what the hell did I step in earlier?" He points to the loaf, which now has a Finn-sized footprint in it.

She frowns and leans closer to get a better look, "I think- I think that's-" her eyes go wide, "…banana bread. Shit!"

That stupid banana bread! _That's_ what started the whole mess that was now coming back to her in increasingly more mortifying waves.

The barefoot walk home, the tequila, the pity laugh of their doorman, the fighting, the rage, the kissing, _Finn kissed her_. And oh god! The_ sex_. The hazy, clumsy, drunken sex.

"Finn," she says carefully, "You don't remember anything from last night?"

He answers with a frustrated shrug, clearly having spent the morning trying to answer that exact question.

"Drinking at Murphy's? Coming back to my place? Eating banana bread in the kitchen? Fighting?"

"We fought?"

"I mean-kinda? We were both so drunk, you were just pissing me off…as you tend to do while inebriated."

He snorted, "Look who's talking, I bet you were doing that obnoxious, shrill, bossy thing you love to do when you're wasted."

"I was not!" she squeaks with her hands on her hips

He raises his eyebrows,

"Whatever!" she sticks her tongue out at him, "The point is, we did fight and then… you don't remember anything?" she asks again, fighting to keep the anxiety from her voice.

"I kind of remember Murphy's, the beginning at least. I remember getting cut off- I think. I don't know… Did I do something? What am I missing?"

She tries really hard not to be offended or worse yet, hurt by his brain's complete removal of what had happened between them. Maybe it was best to just let him think it was another drunken night they'd laugh about eventually, spare them both the awkwardness of reliving it.

But then another memory came into focus; they didn't just have sex, they had unprotected sex…twice.

"No." she scrambles out of bed, looking for a condom in the garbage can, a time machine, a hidden camera, _something_. "No, no, no!"

"Rachel what? You're freaking me out!"

"Finn, the reason why we both woke up naked is because we had sex last night."

"Really?"

He should really learn to think before he talks. Even he knows that's probably the last thing a woman wants to hear the morning after. She proves him right with her scathing stare.

"Yes, Finn!" she bites

He takes an unsteady breath, the way she becomes unglued so quickly always makes him nervous. It's contagious or something, this immediate anxiety she gets when things don't go right. His heart starts beating a little faster, his mind a chaotic swirl of thoughts, he's freaking out and he doesn't even know what he's freaking out about!"Alright. Um, it's ok. I just- I mean we just…"

She sees her frenzy reflected in Finn and knows she needs to calm down for the both of them. She takes a deep breath and he does the same.

"Okay." He finally says, "Okay, we had sex. We- we had sex." He slows down and squints his eyes for a moment, letting his brain catch up, "Wait, we had sex."

"I think we've established that. Or would you like to say it a fifteenth time for the folks at home?"

"I'm just saying…who cares?"

"Excuse me?"

"No I mean, we're trying to have a kid and everything, so…maybe we made one?" his face is hopeful

"Maybe we made one?" she echoes with disbelief, "Yes maybe we made one, or maybe you _made one _with the poodle in 2C! You wouldn't really know now would you?"

"Rachel-"

"No, Finn, you're right. Who cares? I mean who doesn't want to make a baby with the help of Jose Cuervo?! With a man who was just eating off the floor and has no recollection of it?"  
He rolls his eyes, "Oh whatever, Rach. None of that matters, can't you just lighten up for once?" He smiles a little, knowing it usually helps ease her worry.

No such luck. She looks even angrier than before.

"Can't _you_ just take something seriously for once? It does matter! It matters to me how this happens… at least it did matter."

"Jesus, does everything always have to be so dramatic with you? Why does it matter if we were drunk or if it happened on a bed of rose petals?! What are you pissed you won't have some fairytale story to tell your friends?"  
"Because it _means_ something to me, Finn. And maybe I do want to have a special story, is that so terrible? I'm already forfeiting everything I ever anticipated about having a baby. I'm not as young as I thought I would be, I'm not married, I don't even have a boyfriend! I didn't take a pregnancy test to find out if I was pregnant, hell I didn't even get to find out I _wasn't_ pregnant the way I wanted! _Nothing_ is the way I want it to be. Nothing! At least this I thought I could control!"

She wishes she could take it back before she even spits the last word, and when she looks into his wounded eyes, she hates herself for being so reckless and cruel.

"You done?"

"Finn-"

"Don't." he interrupts, raising his hand to stop her "I didn't know you were so miserable about the whole thing."

"No, it's not-"

He rubs a hand over his face, ignoring the tears forming in her eyes, "Sorry, it wasn't what you wanted." His voice is quiet, "I'm just gonna go. I need- I have to take a shower. I'll just…I'll call you later."

He leaves before she can apologize, and he never does call.

* * *

Uh oh! Little bit of drama for our friends! Don't worry though, I loves me some happy Finchel and they'll figure this out.

Also, I really do mean it when I say I take your input into account. I had originally planned on having them get pregnant with rapid, improbable-fanfiction ease, but many of you wanted it to be a little more difficult than that, and alas this chapter was born! So keep reviewing and letting me know what you like and what you want to see!

Up Next: The fallout from their drunken night and Rachel's explosion. Plus, will our favorite duo ever get pregnant? Stay tuned!


	7. Failure

It's been two weeks.

The longest they had ever gone without talking. The only other time that even came close was that hectic week about 10 years ago.

When they had first graduated from NYU, they briefly toyed with the idea of getting an apartment together. She lived down the street from him in Lima, and down the hall from him in college, so this seemed like a logical next step. Only neither of them could decide if they could actually deal with gross bathroom habits and loud morning rituals, respectively.

But before Rachel could convince Finn to trim his nose hairs in the privacy of his own bedroom, and Finn could encourage Rachel to eliminate screeching through Spice Girl covers from her morning routine, they both received job offers that made the decision for them.

Finn accepting an offer at an up and coming Advertising Agency on the Lower East Side, while Rachel agreed to a full time position with the theatre company she had interned at during her senior year. She was reluctant to take a job in Midtown, so far from Lower Manhattan, where she had lived all through college and knew like the back of her hand and where a certain tall friend of hers just happened to be a resident. But she loved the company, the people, the theatre, the current director (who just happened to be a few years away from retirement, which left a guaranteed opening for her dream job) it was a no brainer.

So they both put on brave faces and insisted it was no big deal; a 20 minute cab ride was nothing after all.

But they were busy. So incredibly busy, carving out names for themselves in their new jobs, while trying to move in to their new apartments and buying furniture and desperately trying to find time to meet the cable guy and building bookshelves and skipping dinner to get an extra hour of sleep.

A week's worth of voicemail apologies for missing her (yet again) and canceled dinners because there was no way he was getting out of work before 9 and Rachel realized she had never felt so disconnected from him. He wasn't a couple houses away and she couldn't just drop by his dorm room to eat the junk food he was always stocked up on.

Rachel was already regretting the decision to move into an apartment by herself, she was lonely, she missed home, she missed college, and she missed him.

She knew it was late, and that he'd sounded exhausted on every voicemail he'd left, but her fingers were acting on their own accord as they dialed his number.

"So I thought that hating the hick town you grew up in meant you'd never get homesick."

"Rach?" he grunted, his sleepy voice straining to reach her ears

"Shit. I was hoping you'd be awake. I'm sorry."

"It's okay-"

"No, no. You're tired. Go back to sleep."

"It's fine. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing I just-" she blew out a loud breath, willing herself to sound carefree, "_Funny Girl_ is on and I don't know if you remember but-"

"You always watch that movie with your dads."

She smiled, "Yeah well, it's on cable and I just got caught up in it and I'm … I'm alone."

"Do you want me to come over?"

"Finn, it's midnight. I'm fine. I shouldn't have called you so late. I just got swept away in the whole homesick melancholy thing. It's just me being dramatic, go back to sleep."

"I know it's been crazy since graduation but-"

"It's okay, Finn. Really. I'm alright."

"Promise?"

"I Promise. Good Night Finn."

"Night, Rach."

She has just stuffed her face with her third (fifth) macaroon, another family tradition she was torturing herself with, when the doorbell rang. Had she actually ordered that pizza earlier?

She opened the door to find something indescribable. His presence giving way to an emotion that felt too vast to even have a name.

"Finn?" was all she could squeak out before he enveloped her in a bone crushing hug.

"You're not alone."

Three words. Three simple words that meant everything.

Perhaps it was because she missed him so much, or maybe he had just arrived at the perfect time; for whatever reason, all her sadness seemed to have receded, replaced by a quiet certainty that everything would be ok, as long as she had him by her side.

That was the last time they didn't live within minutes each other. And the last time they had gone longer then a day without at least speaking on the phone.

Until now.

Sure they had been in fights before. Little spats that never lasted longer than the time it took for him to make her laugh, or for her puppy dog eyes to make him cave. This was different though. She had never hurt him like this. In one fell swoop she had insulted him, the pact they had worked so hard to come up with, even the baby they were hoping so much to have.

She knew she was wrong and she knew she needed to apologize, but he wasn't giving her the chance! Dodging her calls and buying his own milk so he wouldn't have to come use hers, using the stairs so he wouldn't see her in the elevator, even coming home from work at different times so she couldn't ambush him in the lobby.

Well enough is enough Finn Hudson, this was ending and this was ending now!

"Finn open the door!" she pounds her tiny fists as hard as she can "I know you're in there! Hank told me you came up two hours ago and never came back down, Fiiiiin!"

He doesn't answer, she only pounds harder and yells louder, even after Finn's grouchy neighbor, Mrs. Beuford, comes out and shushes her.

"Finn don't make me bring out the big guns. Finn, come on!" She waits a beat

"Finn Hudson you answer the door right now or I swear to God I will tell your mother about the tattoo you got senior year…"

Does he think she's kidding? She whips out her phone, "I'm opening up my contacts….I'm scrolling to 'C'…. oh look, Carole Hudson!... I'm clicking send….it's ringing."

The door flies open so fast it blows a gust of wind through her hair, "Hang it up."

She holds the phone up, the dull ringing still heard through the speaker, "Only if you let me in."

He considers it for a moment, his foot tapping the floor in deliberation. Rachel stares him down, Finn stares her down, the phone rings again…"Fine!"

She clicks the phone off, a triumphant smile on her face as she struts through the door.

Her smile fades, however, when she catches his annoyed stare, "Oh no, please don't let me stop you from doing a victory dance."

"Finn-"

"You know what's funny?" he interrupts, a detached smile on his face, "You thought I would be the one to flake out on this whole thing."

"I didn't flake out."

"Really? That must've been someone else who freaked out about us having sex, you know… to actually make a kid. And it couldn't have been you bitching about how every part of this was so horrible-"

"Finn stop."

He points at her, his humorless smile so far from his typically warm eyes "Oh wait. That _was_ you!"

"Finn, don't do this."

"Do what?!"

"This! I know you, okay? And I know this is what you do when you're upset about something. You make everything into one, big sarcastic joke and you don't have to put up this wall, Finn. Not with me."

He barks out a sarcastic laugh, shaking his head at her, "How about _you_ don't do _that_!"

"What?!"

"The earnest Rachel Berry display." He spits, so, so angry with her, "_I don't need to put up any walls? _You're kidding with that crap right?

She steels herself, refusing to cry. To be the weak little girl Finn Hudson always has to protect, "No, I'm not kidding."

"Because you realize you just pulled the rug out from under me right? That what you said that night- that contradictory, regretful, offensive…bullshit! THAT'S why people put up walls Rachel! Because they get screwed over when they put themselves out there. You should know that better than anyone."

"That's not fair, Finn."

"It's not? Let's talk about fair, Rachel. Is it fair that you told me you wanted to have a baby with me, that you wanted this, that you promised me we'd be in this together- 100 percent, and the second things didn't go your way, you demean the entire thing? Demean me?"

"No it wasn't fair, but-"

"You know what, Rachel? It really doesn't matter. You made your feelings about this whole thing pretty clear- you made your feelings about_ me_ pretty clear."

Her calm and collected façade finally breaks and she screams at him, "It wasn't about you, Finn!"

He freezes, the volume of her voice seemingly silencing the entire world around them.

"Will you just stop being mad at me for 10 seconds so I can explain?" she risks a glance at him, "Please?" she begs, her voice small

He pinches the bridge of his nose, finally motioning for her to go on.

Rachel takes a deep breath before she begins what will surely be an extensive explanation.  
"It wasn't about you." She repeats, taking a seat on the couch across from him, "It was about me and- and my failures. One after the other." Her head is down and she shakes it as if to agitate the tears away. "You know when we first decided to do this; it really wasn't all that hard to say yes to you. I've always wanted to have a baby, to have a family. And I _always _knew you'd be a part of it in some way. And so when you came up with this idea, however odd it was, it seemed right somehow. Like even though my life is so different then how I pictured, even though I don't have a husband and kids, a house with a picket fence-" she looks at him, "At least I have you. And then we'd have a family, we'd _be _family. Officially."

He smiles at her a little, probably despite himself, and after a few seconds of hesitation, moves to sit by her side, his hand on her knee.

"When we were…together- the first time, it was scary and different and new. But- but it felt like our plan was really falling into place. That when we got past the _how, _we could really start our family." She looks at him, nodding a little and he nods back. He knows. He felt the same way.

"And then I got my period at work like_- _like somecruel surprise. _That's it. _In that one second, everything I was so optimistic about- this new version of my family, was gone."

"But-"

"I know it was dumb. I know it was stupid and ridiculous and unrealistic to think that just because I really wanted this it would just come true, but why? Why does it have to be so dumb to think that? I feel like I adapted, you know? The traditional husband and kids isn't going to happen for me, so we modified it, but I couldn't even do that right."

He's so mad at her he could explode. He's mad about what she said to him and the way she reacted, but mostly he's mad that this issue even exists. That Rachel could ever be insecure enough to think that not getting pregnant is somehow her fault, that anything that strays from the plan is a failure on her part, and that, for as long as they've been friends, he's never been able to convince her otherwise. And the most infuriating of all, that he still wants to convince her of that, wants to make her feel better, wants to see her smile, even now when he's extraordinarily angry with her.

Finn can feel his resolve breaking, the anger slowly dissipating, replaced by his unrelenting need to protect his best friend "Rachel, you didn't do anything wrong or right-"

She continues on anyways, "And then a little part of me started to believe, just a tiny bit, that we could try again. Start from scratch, that maybe this was a chance to do it perfectly from the very beginning, now that we knew exactly what to expect."

"And then we had drunk sex that we could barely remember…" he finishes for her

She nods, allowing the tears to fall now, "It just felt like some cosmic joke. Just when I let myself hope, something had already gone wrong. And it's not an excuse Finn. What I said to you was completely and totally out of line and just not true."

She turns to face him completely, taking his hands in hers, "Finn, _you_ are the only part of this entire thing that works. I don't ever worry about you as a father or as my partner in this; I know you'll be amazing at both. I _know_ you will. It's me I'm worried about."

She closes her eyes like she's ashamed of the fact. And she should be. It's ludicrous to think she'd be anything other than an amazing mother. He needs to tell her that, to prove it to her somehow, but she continues on before he can, "And so that night- that morning. When I realized what we had done, I just felt like such a screw up. Plan A didn't work out and then Plan B was falling apart too I-"

"Rach, you have to stop this. Why does it matter if your life doesn't look the way you thought it would when you were fourteen years old? All that failure talk, its crap."

She gives him this stare, like he should know better. But he brushes her off again, "Sure, you've had some shitty relationships- okay you've had _a lot_ of shitty relationships. But those guys- Rachel it's their loss." She rubs at her eyes roughly, shaking her head at him,

"I know. I know that's what people say. But it's the truth, I swear it. You're amazing."

She smiles at him, finally, a real Rachel Berry smile and he's thankful; all thoughts of being angry at her long gone.

"But Rachel, if you don't want to do this, tell me." He shakes her hands a little, "It'll be okay, we'll still be us, I won't be mad at you. But you have to tell me now; if this isn't something you want."

She looks at him; couldn't he see that she had never wanted anything more? No trophy or grade or job or relationship could compare to the way she wanted this.

"Finn, I want this. I knew it before, but I _really_ know it now. These last couple of weeks, thinking that I might not get it, it killed me. I want this more than anything. And I want it with you."

He nods, all the previous tension from earlier gone. And she likes that, likes that he still takes her on faith. Even though she pulled the rug out from under him a bit, even though she wavered and said things she regrets; he still trusts her, believes her when she knows he doesn't want to.

His face is tender for the briefest of moments before he smirks at her, "So you really missed me huh?"

"Finn…"

"I'm just saying it might be a good idea to be a _little_ less obsessed with me."

"You really know how to ruin a moment."

"I know I'm awesome and everything, I'm flattered, really…but its borderline pathetic at this point, Rach."

"You're an idiot."

"Just tell me how many times you saw Rick this week?"

She sighs. Rick is the pizza delivery guy from their favorite place. She hates that he knows her well enough to even ask this question, so she crosses her arms over her chest defiantly.

"Tell me, Rachel."

"Twice."

"Rachel…."

"Fine! Five! Five times, are you happy now?"

He gets a kick out of this, laughing so loud he starts to cough. She reaches for a pillow to hit him with, but he grabs her arm first, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Five times is not that much…."

They last about a half a second before they're both cracking up.

It feels good to laugh like this. She doesn't think she's so much as smiled for the last two weeks. They're breathless as their laughter finally ceases and she takes this moment of winded of silence to deliver an important message,

"I really missed you Finn."

His smile is like an impression on his face, stamped out from laughing so hard. It doesn't go away even as he takes in her heartfelt stare, "Me too."

He hands her a tissue and claps his hands together, officially rendering this discussion over , "So is there any pizza left?"

Rachel laughs and takes the tissue, but doesn't accept the change of subject. Instead, tugging him back down to the couch, "Finn there's something else."

He looks immediately nervous, what could it be now? "What is it?"

"I just- I'm really glad we had this fight. Well I mean, not that it lasted this long or that you got hurt and- I - I just mean I'm glad that it forced me to really think about this. Feeling like I wasn't going to get it made me see how badly I want it. And I feel like I can really leap now you know? There's no question in my mind."

His smile is relieved, "That's awesome. I know what you mean, the fight sucked, but it kinda put things into perspective." He pats her leg and stands up again, "But seriously, I'm starving. Pizza?" He walks towards the kitchen, chuckling to himself as he calls back to her, "By the way, how much trouble did you get in with that old lady down the hall for screaming? God, she's such a bitch-" he returns to the living room with a slice of pizza hanging from his mouth and one for her in his spare hand, "she gave me like a 10 minute lecture the other day about the way I put my garbage down the shoot-"he waves the pizza in front of her face when she makes no move to take it, or respond to him, "Hello? Earth to Rachel! Pizza in the room…"

She blinks a few times before finally making eye contact with him, "Finn there's something else."

He scoffs through his mouthful of cold pizza, "How could there be something else?!" he shrieks, the slice of pizza flapping in his hands as he waves them around wildly

"I'm late."

He freezes, dropping the pizza on the floor "Your- you are?"

She nods, "It's only like two days but- but I am. It probably doesn't mean anything-"

"But it _could_ mean something."

"Yeah." She breathes with hesitance, "It could."

"Then let's- I mean let's take a test, right?"

"I will, Finn. Later."

"What do you mean later? What do you have to do that's more important than this?!"

Her voice is low, "I have to explain to you the horrors of getting tomato sauce out of white carpeting!" she scurries into the kitchen, "I mean honestly Finn, getting that banana bread out was hard enough, but pizza?!"

He smiles at her, happily returning to his pizza.

"It's not funny, Finn!" she cries, hitting him in the chest with a roll of paper towel, which he catches and tugs from her grip.

She puts her hands on her hips in her trademark mom stance, staring him down with stern eyes. She looks deadly serious, so naturally he holds the roll over his head.

She jumps to reach it, the way she always has, all to no avail. Because he's like 8 feet taller than her and she'll never accept that it means he can keep things from her. She continues to struggle for it, whining and jumping and scolding him, but he only laughs.

He really missed her.

.

.

.

.

Okay so Finn and Rachel are back on solid ground. This sort of felt like a filler chapter, but I felt like it was important to establish how much they both want this and that it's not just some spur of the moment decision. I also feel like this solidified everything they were doing, they are both unquestionably in this now and have moved past this hypothetical stage of their plan. Now we just have to get them pregnant!

Also, the flashback of Rachel calling Finn and him showing up to tell her she's not alone was inspired by the Sex and the City movie. Which is kind of weird to transfer over, but whatever… Speaking of the flashbacks, how do we feel about them? I did it here, with the prom flashback in ch.3, and I'm currently writing one for the next chapter… Like them? Hate them? Take it? Leave it? Let me know when you review!


	8. The Test

It's Friday and it's 5:00 and she's beginning to think this is a terrible, terrible idea.

She and Finn agreed she would finally take a pregnancy test today. It had been a few days since he had finally forgiven her and they had both agreed to wait a bit before taking a pregnancy test. Just these three days alone felt more anxious than the weeks before they had found out Rachel wasn't pregnant the first time. After days of Finn trying to convince her she was definitely more moody than usual and her trying to convince Finn that her boobs were definitely way bigger than usual. It was time to put the speculation and anxiety to an end.

Only they never agreed on the specifics. And yeah, it was probably a good assumption that they would do it together when Finn got home from work, but for some reason she really wanted to do it alone.

God only knows why this was her independent venture of choice. Since Finn was just as much a part of this as her, not to mention, she had been inappropriately including him in various aspects of her life for as long as she could remember. But there was something about him eagerly waiting outside the bathroom door only to find out she wasn't in fact pregnant, that made her stomach turn. She couldn't stand the idea of coming to face to face with more of Finn's disappointment.

At least this way she could tell Finn the results in the way _she_ wanted. Maybe he'd be a little upset about not being here for the actual "peeing on the stick". But he'd have to get over it, because this was the right way.

Except that she was obscenely nervous and she couldn't pin point exactly what the nervousness was for. She was anxious about finding out one way or another, sure, but she couldn't decide if she was more nervous about possibly being pregnant, or not being pregnant.

She wanted to be pregnant more than anything, but there was this pressure weighing on her chest, the kind of fear that comes with getting something you really want. Because you're afraid it might not be exactly what you imagined or that it might be taken away from you in some terrible way.

And then there was the enormous fear of failing again. Yes, Finn had assured her that no matter the results, not getting pregnant was no more a failure then getting caught in the rain or being on a broken down bus or any other uncontrollable misfortune. But it was still scary to think that she may have to confront this inadequacy a second time.

She was spiraling. Rachel breathed in deep and shook her hands in front of her, silently willing herself to relax. She was immediately regretting doing this alone; she was just not equipped to deal with this kind of stress without someone to calm her down. Well not just someone… Finn. She needed Finn to calm her down. Okay, what would Finn do to calm her down if he were here?

_Finn was exhausted. He was sweaty and dirty and just plain gross. This new football coach was not playing around. He wasn't even sure he could stay on his feet through the length of a shower. Yes, he was disgusting, but his bed just looked so inviting. So warm and comfortable and ... lumpy?_

_ He was the only one home, his mom was working the late shift and well, that's it. He and his mom lived alone, so who the hell was in his bed?!_

_ Finn approached cautiously, the lump in the bed unmoving, but he'd seen enough scary movies to know that's how they get you to get your defenses down before they pop out and eat your face off or whatever. _

_ He leaned his whole body back and stretched his arm to poke the small mountain under his blanket with one, wary finger. The lump shifted and he went into his ninja, protective stance, but when a chunk of familiar brown hair started to peak out from the blanket he knew immediately who his bed intruder was._

_ "Damn it, Rachel! You scared the shit out of me!" he rubbed a hand down his face, "What are you doing here?" He sounded way angrier than he actually was, but he was cranky and tired and thought Rachel was a face eating zombie so whatever._

_ Slowly, her face ascended past the mask of the blanket. Shit. He hadn't meant to make her cry._

_ "Rach-" he couldn't even get out an apology before a mess of hair and tears was in his arms._

_ He let out an oomph of surprise and hesitantly rubbed her back. He tried to control his worry. Rachel wasn't exactly low key when it came to emotions and he didn't want to get carried away with her if she was crying over like, her favorite show going on hiatus for 6 weeks. Which she would totally never do or anything…_

_ "Rachel what's wrong?" he tried to move away a little to get a good look at her face so he could decipher whether this was a real problem or a 16 year old girl problem. But she only clutched him tighter and instantly he was more worried. If this were some silly problem she'd never pass up the opportunity to rant about it dramatically, pacing circles around his room while she sighs and whines and huffs at him for not being as outraged as she is._

_ She's crying real, quiet, breathless tears, not loud, theatrical shrieking, and she feels so fragile in his arms, "Seriously Rach, you're scaring me."_

_ She took in as deep a breath as she could, doing little to compose herself, "My dad, he was in a car accident and-"_

_ "No. Oh my god, Rachel -"_

_ "He's okay." She said quickly at his pale expression, "He's okay, I was just- when I got the call that he was in the hospital, I was just so scared."_

_ "He's in the hospital?"_

_ "Yes. He, um, he fractured his leg and he's a little bruised up, but he's alright."_

_ He let out a loud breath, "That's good. But then… what are you doing here?"_

_ She looked up at him with watery eyes, "I couldn't even go to the hospital Finn. I was so terrified and I still am, and- and I just feel so, so weak."  
"You're not weak. It's a scary situation; you know I'd be crying like a baby if it were my mom."_

_ She finally smiled a little, "You are a mama's boy."_

_ He pushed her shoulder playfully, making her laugh a bit before her face fell again, "I just can't see him all injured in a hospital bed, it's not right."_

_ "Well you don't have to see him just now."_

_ She rolled her eyes, "Of course I do, Finn. He's my father and he's hurt."_

_ "Right, but your dad's not going to want to see you all teary and snotty and stuff. I'm serious!" he cried when she huffed at him, "Leroy won't want to see his precious baby angel pumpkin pie upset!" he mocked in a baby voice_

_ "Shut up, Finn. He does not sound like that. And it's not going to work; I'm not going to laugh."_

_ "Fine. If you won't laugh at my spot-on Leroy impression then I know what will make you feel better."_

_ He disappeared under his bed for a moment and popped back out with eager eyes and his c-d player. He pressed play and the bumping sounds of "Push It" filled the room._

_ He bobbed his head slowly, a huge grin on his face, "Come on, Rach!" he yelled "Get up on this!"_

_ "You are such a dork!" she screamed over the music, "and I knew you stole my c-d!"_

_ He ignored her and started babbling through the first verse. If he could just get her to sing with him she'd feel better. It was the only guaranteed way to lift her spirits, sure they both had terrible voices, but who cared? _

_ When his rapping didn't coax her to join him he found the nearest "microphone", it was an old tube of empty deodorant…it would have to do. He threw it to her just in time for the next verse._

_ She joined in reluctantly and slow at first, but got into it soon enough. Their awkward dance moves rivaled their off key singing, but there was no one here to be embarrassed for._

_ They finished the song out of breath from laughing so hard, both falling back on the bed together._

_ "You're getting good at the running man." She commented wryly_

_ "Mhmm, and your singing doesn't sound like a dozen cats getting run over anymore…only like 10 cats now."_

_ She whacked him across the chest for that one. It wasn't her fault she was tone deaf!_

_ She was about to retort with a clever comment about his pencil drumming when she noticed how tired she was. Her eyes felt so heavy and swollen and she didn't know why- oh. It was kind of annoying how well he knew her. But amazing at the same time._

_ She let her head fall to the side to look at him, "Thank you, Finn."_

_ He smiled back at her, patting her knee in solidarity._

_ "Will you come with me…to the hospital?" she asked _

_ His eyes were soft, "Of course."_

…

Alright so maybe she sings _Don't Stop Believing_ as she pees; it's not her fault the weirdest technique in the world actually works.

She uses it while she waits too, because if she thought trying to get up the nerve to pee was hard, waiting for the results is excruciating.

And so, Rachel is pacing in the bathroom, singing Journey when Finn appears in the door way,

"What are you doing?"

She screams so loud he actually ducks away from her and she's so shocked she flings the little white stick into the air before Finn can even make sense of what's happening.

"Jesus Christ Rachel! That scream could wake the fucking dead!"

Her heart is beating in her ears and she punches him hard, "You idiot! What are you doing sneaking up on me like that!?"

"I knocked! It's not my fault your terrible singing drowned out all the rest of the noise in the world! Good song though."

"You scared me half to death! And my singing is not terrible!"

He raises his eyebrows at her, that one needs no further explanation…

"Whatever, Finn. What are you doing here, besides subtracting ten years from my life?"

"Duh! Pregnancy test! We agreed today would be the day, let's do it!" he's bouncing on the balls of his feet he's so excited. She loves that he doesn't hide his excitement for some stupid macho image, though it does make her next statement a little harder to say.

"Finn, don't be mad at me but I- I already did it."

She braces herself for a fight, but he doesn't look angry. He still has that innocent, hopeful look on his face, "You did? What- What did it say?"

The realization dawns on her, she never even looked at it. She doesn't even know where she flung it in her petrified haste. "Oh crap! I threw it when you scared me! Where'd it go?"

Finn immediately gets on his hands and knees to look for it. Thankfully, she keeps an immaculate bathroom, otherwise…ew. But seriously, padding around like a dog on her bathroom floor looking for the stick she peed on? Can any part of this just be _normal_?

She spots it before he does, probably because he has no idea what he's actually looking for.

She picks it up and squints to read the results, clutching her hand to her chest and letting out a loud breath when she does because,

"It's positive! Finn, it's positive!"

"Wait- wait. It's positive?!"

"Yes, Finn." She answers, shoving the test in his face, which he immediately flinches back from.

"What?"

He can't believe he has to explain himself, "Rach. You peed on that thing."

She rolls her eyes liberally, "Finn, if we're gonna have a baby you can't be scared of a little pee. And FYI you can't be scared of a little pee because, WE'RE HAVING A BABY!"

Finn doesn't move, doesn't react at all. He sees the fire start to burn behind her eyes and senses the need to back track. He wasn't trying to piss her off; he just wants to be sure she's actually pregnant before getting excited. And honestly, he also wants to be sure that Rachel's not tricking him. He'd trust her implicitly if it wasn't for that time in the 10th grade she convinced him to get an earring. He couldn't believe Puck when he insisted it'd be cool, but when Rachel agreed, he had to accept that it was true. All to win a stupid bet. He put a hole in his body so she could win 10 bucks!

Anyways, certainty…he needed it.

"Okay show me the thing again." He rears back, "Just… not too close."

She grits her teeth and puts it closer (b_ut not too close_) to his face, "It has two lines." He points out

She squints her eyes at him, was he serious? "I can see that Finn."

"What does that mean?"

She furrows her eyebrows in disbelief, what the hell was wrong with him? Was he having a stroke or something? "It means pregnant…" she explains slowly, "Which…is why I said I was pregnant…"

"But how do you know that means pregnant? What is the significance of two lines… is that like the universal sign for baby that only women know!?" he was starting to get frantic

"Finn,-"

"No, no. I need to be sure, Rach. I need- I need-"

She holds both his shoulders and guides him to sit down on the couch. Rachel speaks in a soft voice as she carefully addresses him, "Finn, listen. I'm going to read you the directions on the box, so you'll know how to tell too."

She grabs the box and begins reciting. "Wait 2 minutes to read the result. Be sure to read the result before 10 minutes have passed…" Jeez, he was good practice for a baby; the calming reassurance, the reading aloud… "Two lines" she emphasizes, making a show of pointing out the picture on the box to him, "in the round window indicates a 'pregnant' result. Please see your doctor to discuss."

She eyes him expectantly after finishing, gauging his reaction. He was starting to make her nervous, why wasn't he more excited?

"Two lines." He says softly, his voice squeaking

She nods.

"Two lines." He repeats "Pregnant."

He looks at her, disbelief written across his whole face. But not horrified disbelief. Happy disbelief. Amazed, excited, _elated_ disbelief.

The joy spreads slowly, but steadily to his entire face. She can actually see the realization hitting him.

"We're having a baby." He says like he's the one telling her the news. "A baby!"

He springs off the couch, almost falling over in his haste to get to her, "We did it, Rach!"

She giggles, his happiness contagious, "We did. You put a baby in me."

He puffs out his chest, "I put a baby in you."

She snorts at the deep voice he uses. She wants to make fun of him, call him some silly name and laugh when he teases her back, but she just- there are no words.

His face shares the same kind of astonishment, "Rachel." He whispers, his voice filled with awe

"I know."

He grabs her suddenly then, clutches her so close that she can feel his rapid heartbeat reverberating through her own body.

She knows this kind of hug. He hugged her like this when they graduated high school, and when he got his first job out of college. This kind of hug represented the kind of pure joy you don't know what to do with.

Her instinct was to tell him to calm down. That they still weren't sure yet, she needed to go to the doctor and it wouldn't be prudent to really get excited until the 6 week mark. But damn it, she was filled with the same kind of joy he was; it couldn't be contained or eliminated by all the logic and caution in the world.

And she knew that no matter the outcome, soon everything would change. The future stretched out in front of them, and for the first time in a long time it felt limitless and _chosen_. Maybe it wouldn't go according to plan, but right now, she had hope and _possibility, _and her best friend in her arms, it was everything she wanted.

.

.

.

Sorry for the short chapter, but I needed to get the results out of the way so we could move on to a new phase of the story. Rachel is finally pregnant! Time to journey through her pregnancy, which means lots of silly, fun, crazy Finchel times to come!

Also, now that Rachel's pregnant, you guys have to tell me what you'd like the Finchel baby to be…. Leaving it up to a vote, so sound off in the comments: Boy or girl?


	9. First Trimester:The Report Card

Chapter 9: The First Trimester

Throughout his entire friendship with Rachel she'd been an A student. She's always been a perfectionist, over achiever and an avid rule follower. It dissipated eventually, after college and internships and years and years of paying her dues, she was making the rules now. He can't say he misses the Rachel of yester-year who forced him into all nighters before mid-terms and actually doing homework during study hall, but he suspects she'll always be something of a goody two shoes when it comes to abiding by guidelines.

His suspicions are proven true when Rachel gets pregnant.

As soon as he can tear his eyes from the positive pregnancy test in Rachel's apartment he glues his eyes to the computer screen in his own. He wants to know everything. What to expect and what to know and how to and why to and where to; _everything_.

Only the first thing he reads is that every pregnancy is different. Every woman experiences pregnancy in their own unique way. Alright well, thanks for nothing.

Then he finds a website that provides more or less the same disclaimer, but they also supply a basic guideline of what to expect throughout each trimester. Score!

So the thing about his suspicions… Rachel follows these guidelines to the tee. I mean the girl hasn't even read these random expectations and her body's adhering to the rules like she has some sort of control over it.

Basically if pregnancy were a test, Rachel'd be getting an A.

….

Rachel would probably say she's getting an F.

F for fat, obviously.

Honest to God, this girl has not gained a pound. Not even in a, your pregnant and I'm the man so I have to tell you you look thin no matter what, way. No. He's known Rachel forever, he knows her body. They've slept next to each other more times than he can count, his drunken piggyback rides are a Friday night staple, he's thrown her into the lake in Lima and lifted her into her dorm room window when they got locked out. He knows what she looks like, and weighs, and how small she is. And he'd bet his life she hasn't gained an ounce.

Rachel even starts acting like she's got a huge pregnant belly already, like she's got a phantom stomach or something. Which honestly- she's done some crazy things before but, this is quickly moving to the top of the list.

She starts leaning back when she walks a bit, adjusting her center of gravity or _pretending_ to? And she'll make these really loud grunting sounds when she gets up from the couch, as if she has all this extra weight to lift, but like…she doesn't.

It's super confusing, and really hard to ignore when she's still her usual, tiny self.

He tells Rachel so and she rolls her eyes at him. Which, yeah, he completely expected but she's being a total psycho about this, and not for the reason you'd think.

See Rachel still won't even admit she's pregnant. Yes, she thinks she is gaining weight from a pregnancy she won't even acknowledge she has…She's _practicing_ for a pregnancy she won't even acknowledge she has.

She has this thing about it not being real until she sees the doctor. Which actually kind of makes sense; he's trying to not get his hopes as much as possible, though it's pretty much a lost cause at this point.

The issue is he doesn't think Rachel should be allowed to complain about baby weight, if she can't say she's pregnant.

He explains this to her and he gets his very first 'Pregnant Rachel Lecture'. Yes, pregnant. Because she is pregnant, no matter what she will or won't say.

….

They finally see the doctor.

Pregnant.

Rachel cries into his chest for a full ten minutes, and he remembers why they're best friends when she pretends not to see that he joins her for five.

….

Finn makes a little mental pregnancy report card for Rachel. He'd really like to write it down, just so it's easier to keep track of, but something tells him Rachel would hate it.

Okay that something is Quinn. She punches him for even suggesting it because; "pregnancy is not something you need to be "good" or "bad" at. And Rachel certainly doesn't need any more reason to be neurotic or god forbid feel like she's failing pregnancy."

Yeah, that's just about the truest thing ever said, but he's not doing it because he _wants _her to do certain things or because she _should._ She just so fucking good at it. He wants to see how many of these benchmarks she can hit right on the head without even trying.

That little list on that random website has sort of become his bible for knowing what's coming with Rachel. And the first thing on the list (and her pregnancy report card, which he totally does not have in a secret file on his computer) is nausea.

They call it morning sickness, but he's not sure why. Really it can strike at any time of the day, so he starts stopping by her apartment in the morning before work, calling her during his lunch hour, and then coming over after work just in case.

It kind of takes his and Rachel's friendship to all new, soaring gross heights.

They have to experiment with what works for her, since Rachel thought her normal eating habits would be fine save for some spicy stuff or extra fatty foods. But the first time she had morning sickness it was after one of their big Sunday breakfasts. The tradition had started in college, a way to recuperate from their Saturday nights; it eased their hangovers and allowed them time to discuss the previous night's debauchery. And even though their partying had been severely toned down with age, the breakfast part stuck. Pancakes, eggs, sausage, coffee, juice the whole nine yards.

Unfortunately, Rachel's appetite starts to grow pretty early on and she ate more than he did on that fateful Sunday morning. And well, let's just say, Big Sunday breakfast looked way better going down then it did coming back up.

Big Sunday breakfast kind of turns into, dry toast Sunday breakfast after that.

You can add Indian take out to that list too. It's a rough Thursday evening when they discover that gem.

Pepperoni pizza is done as well. Lasagna (but not pasta, sauce or cheese separately), onion bagels, Turkey (but not chicken), green peppers (but not red) dark chocolate (but not milk or white), even certain kinds of gum set her off.

Also, contributing to her "All Day" sickness, her new killer sense of smell. Seriously, she's like bionic or something now.

At first it's really fun. They test it out, Finn goes in her bedroom and closes the door and then spritzes some hairspray in the air… Not only can Rachel smell it from the living room, she names it down to the brand.

It feels like he's having a baby with a superhero or something, The Nose, Captain SmellsAlot, Sir Scent, Dr. Odor, Agent Aroma, Super Sniffer-

Rachel makes him stop then, calls him a nerd and tells him to make her a sandwich.

Whatever. The point is, she has super smelling powers and it's cool until it's totally not.

They go to dinner with Mike and Tina, because apparently they found a new babysitter who is a godsend that can get both kids fed, bathed and into bed before they even get home.

Puck and Quinn are distinctly absent. Everyone notices, but no one says a word about it.

Anyways, Tina's sitting next to Rachel and they're talking about pregnancy things he can't hear because Mike's going on and on about the Knicks game he went to last night. Which Finn didn't even get to watch on TV because Rachel was puking up the veggie stir fry he made her, so the only thing _he_ got courtside seats to was Rachel hugging porcelain.

He's kind of ready to tell Mike to shove it when he notices Rachel's face turn a shade. She gets the slightest bit paler when she's just starting to get nauseated, which means hopefully there's still time to reverse whatever triggered her.

Only there's nothing on the table yet. Not even bread, or drinks other than water. He starts sniffing around like an idiot, while Rachel holds her stomach.

"Rach, what is it?" His voice is urgent

"I- I don't know. It smells like flowery- or maybe, soapy it's-" Rachel leans closer to Tina and recoils when she breathes in. She holds a hand over her mouth and closes her eyes.

"It's Tina." Finn says, his tone grave. He can't really be mad at her because she didn't do – whatever it is she did to set off Rachel on purpose, but still.

Tina looks offended and concerned all at once; she puts her arm around Rachel to rub her back and basically pushes Rachel's entire face into her sweater. Which, they'll figure out later, is covered in the fabric softener that set Rachel off in the first place.

Long story short, Rachel barfs all over Tina.

Rachel is mortified, obviously. The entire restaurant kind of freezes at the sound of her retching and she just stands there for a minute afterwards, staring at her handiwork.

Tina is oddly understanding, she claims it's not the first time she's been puked on, and it won't be the last. Finn and Rachel are kind of confused by that, but Tina sends them a wink and tells them they'll see soon enough.

The night's kind of shot to hell after that, but Finn promises Rachel that she didn't ruin anything. Rachel asks if they can stop for hot dogs on the way home, and he says yes without rolling his eyes, thank you very much.

….

Look, he's not going to get into it, but the next thing on the list is tender, swollen breasts.

He will say that Rachel does this thing where she holds her boobs up; she makes these little cups with her hands and holds her chest all gently. He thought it was super weird at first, but then she told him why, and he's already so immersed in this whole pregnancy thing that nothing surprises him anymore.

She complains to him all the time about not being able to sleep on her stomach because it hurts her boobs too much. And he knows she must be in a lot of pain, when she doesn't even brag about how they've gotten bigger recently. Okay, bigger is kind of an understatement. She's not showing in her stomach at all yet, but her boobs are ready to tell the entire world she's pregnant. They've like doubled in the past month.

So yeah, tender, swollen breasts? A+.

….

Remember when he said nothing surprises him anymore?

Wrong.

Rachel honestly should just quit her job and move into the bathroom, because he really doesn't see how she can get anything done with how much she pees.

It completely boggles his mind, how this tiny person can carry so much urine. (Add that to the list of things he never thought he would analyze) She literally went three times in the span of a five block walk yesterday. _Three times! Five blocks!_

They don't go to movies anymore, they can't sit in a restaurant unless they're seated near the bathroom, forget going shopping or doing anything in a succinct amount of time.

The peeing thing is really his and Rachel's problem, until Rachel gets into a killer fight with a cab driver.

The café Rachel wants to go is only about a ten block walk away, something she wouldn't have blinked at walking two months ago, but now she's just too tired.

Finn offers to go pick up her tea himself, but she insists their chamomile is the best when drunk right away.

The first red light they hit Rachel has to pee.

They do their regular back and forth,

"Can you hold it?"

"No."

"But we're almost there."

"Do you want me to pee in this cab? (bus stop, chair, booth, bench, park etc.)

"Yes, I would love for you to pee in this cab. (Bus stop, chair, booth, bench, park etc.)

"Finn."

"Okay."

Then he asks the cab driver to pull over so Rachel can run into the Starbucks on the corner. (What's that? Can't she just get tea at Starbucks? No, that'd be way too easy)

And the guy does, and Rachel goes.

And then they drive another three blocks before she has to go again. Oh and look at that, another Starbucks on the corner…

Rachel goes straight for the cab driver instead of engaging in a back and forth with Finn,

"Excuse me, can you please pull up again. I just need to run out real quick."

His accent is thick and his voice brusque when he tells her, "No."

"I- what?"

"No more stops."

Rachel is speechless, she looks to Finn dumbfounded, "Dude, she just needs to get out for a second." He tries

"I go to 88 Orchard."

"Excuse me, but I am a paying customer. I am not asking you to turn the meter off while I'm gone, you'll still get paid for your time and-

"Hey!" the cab driver shouts. "Tell your wife enough!"

Oh hell no. Finn moves to open his door, he's about to kick some cabbie ass. But Rachel puts her arm across his chest to stop him, "Okay we have a problem now." She tells the guy in a dangerous voice.

"Stop the car."

He doesn't.

Rachel's hands turn to fists and she clenches her eyes tightly. The last time he heard her scream this loud was when Puck planted a fake spider in her locker junior year, "I SAID STOP THE CAR!"

The guy slams on his brakes so hard, Finn's head almost goes through the partition.

He punches his fingers on the meter, "Get out! $12.43"

"Oh you have to be kidding me! You have another thing coming if you think I am going to pay you for the most unpleasant, disrespectful cab ride I've ever had! "

"$12.43" He repeats, and this douche actually has the nerve to hold his hand out for money.

Rachel lets out this weird animal noise. It's like a growl and a grunt and a war cry all at once. He thinks she might _actually_ have steam coming out of her ears. It's as if her tiny body isn't big enough to hold all the anger she has right now, but she's too polite to skip out on a bill.

Then she really freaks him out when she takes a massive breath in, and exhales for a good fifteen seconds. Then she gets her purse, pays the guy (in exact change) and pushes Finn out of the cab.

He's on the sidewalk gaping at her, because seriously? What the hell just happened?! She starts biting her nails, and she's got this crazy look on her face. She looks sort of happy but, conflicted or something. She paces a little and then looks up at him and her eyes are kind of watery.

"Rach-"

"Finn." She says gravely. "I- I peed. In the cab."

He opens his mouth, but really… what could he possibly say? "You-"

"I peed in the cab. I was just so mad! It was the only thing I could think of at the time!"

A laugh bubbles up in his throat, "Wait, wait. You did it on purpose?"

She gives him this helpless shrug. And he's never laughed so hard in his life.

This girl. His best friend. The woman carrying his child; just peed in an automobile to exact revenge on an asshole cab driver.

It really goes without saying, but the frequent urination thing? A++

…

If there's one pregnancy requirement Rachel is passing with flying colors, its fatigue. The website says she'll be tired a lot, and they weren't messing around.

It's definitely the least scary, cutest development so far.

Rachel always used to have this thing that she could only sleep at night, lying down on a bed. See he's an expert sleeper, he can do it in a chair, on the floor, a bean bag, outside… he doesn't discriminate. But Rachel's always been too inside her own head to just lounge and take a nap. Taking a nap requires a kind of careless relaxation Rachel is just not capable of.

He's fallen asleep on her more times than he can even recall, and she's really returning the favor now.

If she sits still for too long she's basically down for the count, and he keeps finding her in stranger places. She's like that cat you find in the dryer and on top of the refrigerator- literally, he finds her sleeping in the laundry room once. Surrounded by fresh (well not anymore) warm laundry. And this one night he finds her snoozing with her head in the freezer. Rachel claims it was hot and she was just resting her eyes and he totally believes her, except he stood there watching her for like 10 minutes and yeah…she was totally sleeping.

Catching her all these times makes him realize that he hasn't seen her sleeping _all _that much until now. She's an early riser and he's not, he naps and she doesn't, it's kind of weird and not all that important to watch someone sleeping, but he realizes it one day and now he can't stop.

She gets all curled up and cozy, even if there's nothing to curl up with, and she's already protecting her belly, even though she's still not showing at all. She sleeps with her hands over her stomach and he thinks it's kind of cool that even her subconscious is looking after their baby.

Finn usually carries her to bed, when he finds her, and then she'll insist that's where she was all along.

He thinks it's one of those things she doesn't want to let go of just yet. She never used to nap, it was just a fact, and one she probably thought would never change. It's sort of a ridiculous thing to even care about, but he gets it. So many things were already changing; it wasn't so crazy to want to hang on to something that felt familiar.

So he lets her claim she still only sleeps at night, lying down on a bed.

Secret A+ for fatigue.

….

The last thing the website talks about is a pregnant woman's emotions. He's really nervous for this one, because Rachel's already the most emotional person he knows. It's not necessarily a bad thing, she just _feels _everything. She once told him that she doesn't ever want to wake up one day and realize she just coasted; that she missed out on really experiencing something because she was too indifferent to care. That's why she immerses herself in everything so completely, including her emotions; she doesn't want to miss anything the world is offering her.

He both envies and pities her for it.

But right now, the only person who he will be pitying is himself if gets in Rachel's line of fire.

He thinks. Really he doesn't know because she's been super calm so far; serene and peaceful and content.

Until obviously, she isn't.

She has one major freak-out during her first trimester.

It comes right around her 2 month mark, and it all starts from three words.

See it turns out his trusty website also has these developmental benchmarks for the baby too. Technically, the website says "fetus" but he sort of loathes that word for some unexplainable reason. Rachel glances over his shoulder at the computer screen right when he's scrolls by the heading,

_Baby's toes form._

He's not even really paying attention to what he scrolls by, because he is looking for something specific; when they'll get to hear the baby's heartbeat. But Rachel lets out this horrified, high-pitched gasp that basically makes his heart stop.

Finn's up and beside her in a second, "What happened? Is it the baby?"

Rachel's face contorts in about a million different directions. She looks terribly frightened, but also disgusted, "Toes?" she manages to squeak out

"What the fuck?" he didn't mean to say that out loud but, seriously…what the fuck?

"I- it said its toes form during the ninth week."

"Rach, I don't- what- what are you talking about?"

She's gnawing on her thumb, a habit she's long since given up after Puck told her she looked like a starving beaver or something. "The website!"

Rachel finally looks at him when she spits those words, and he really can't decipher the look in her eyes, too many emotions chasing each other at once.

"Rachel, you're going to have to explain yourself better." He touches her shoulder, "Use your words."

He's being super patronizing, like comically so, but that's only because she's making it so difficult to understand her. She shrugs him off and starts pacing.

"Finn, the website you were looking at said the baby will grow toes at 9 weeks! TOES!"

This it. This is one of those crazy pregnant moments he's been gearing up for. That erratic look in her eye, the pacing, the lack of explanation… he can only think of one person; Quinn.

Quinn was insane when she was pregnant with Jason. He remembers many nights of Puck sleeping on his couch, and various dinners ruined by Quinn bawling at the table, God he may still have a scar from that time she threw a hairdryer at him for touching her stomach.

The one piece of advice Puck gave him when Rachel got pregnant (in private) was to always maintain balance. The crazier she gets, the more serene you get.

_I don't care if you have to slip into a coma; don't ever fall into the vortex of fucking crazy. _Were his exact words

With this sentiment in mind, he goes in, guns- not blazing, or whatever.

He rubs a hand over the back of her head so she'll look up at him, "What's wrong with toes, Rach?"

She scoffs, "Nothing, when they're on the outside of your body!"

He smiles the slightest bit, beginning to clue in to the issue here, "Did you not want the baby to have toes?"

Rachel shoots him an annoyed stare, "Okay I'm sorry it's just- the baby has to grow, Rach. It's a good thing."

She shakes her head wildly to get his hand off. He wants to tell her to chill out, but stops himself. "I know that Finn! That doesn't mean I want toes, in my- in my-" she's just flapping her hands around her stomach area.

Alright, really? Even he knows it's called a uterus.

He shouldn't joke, even if it is just in his head because she looks genuinely upset, and it doesn't take a genius to understand that this is about something more. Sure, it's manifesting in the weirdest possible way, like did Rachel think the kid was just gonna have two stumps for feet or something? But he knows, this is just another one of those things that makes it real for Rachel. And she's just nervous and excited and anxious.

He brings her in for a hug, even though she fights him on it, in the most pathetic half-assed way. "Rach, it's okay. I know it's scary, the baby growing and stuff, but you know that it's a good thing."

She wipes her tears on the shoulder of his shirt, gives him a little nod.

"Our baby's doing exactly what it's supposed to be doing; getting ready to come out and meet us. You're taking such great care of our kid, and they're going to be perfect because of it."

Her eyes are still a bit watery when she looks up at him, smile wide. "Thank you, Finn."

He exhales. Crisis averted. Rachel goes back to reading about what their baby might look like at this exact moment, and she's smiling and touching her stomach tenderly and she looks so, so excited. He feels sort of proud for making her feel better and he starts to think that maybe he's getting an A at the whole pregnancy thing too. At least for this first trimester…

And you know what? If you really think about it, toes inside your body is kind of weird.

.

.

.

.

A/N:Sorry for the long wait on this chapter, I'm doing my best to get these out as soon as I can, but I do work full time and the inspiration doesn't always come when I need it to. But I promise, I'm not going to abandon the story, I have a detailed plan for how it will move it's just a matter of putting it all together. Anyways, as you may be able to see, I think the pregnancy will be broken up into three chapters and three trimesters before Rachel gives birth. So obviously, next is trimester two, Rachel will get more pregnant and more crazy and we might even see some wankiness reemerge if her hormones have anything to say about it ; ).

As always, let me know how you feel and what you'd like to see in the comments.

And keep voting on the gender of the baby! Just by a glance, girl seems to be winning by a landslide. I too love the idea of Finn with a baby girl, but a boy sounds fun too. Like I said, I'll be going with the vote on this one and there's still plenty of time to help decide!

Thanks for reading!


	10. Second Trimester: The Easiest One

A/N: Look at that! An update! Hopefully the long chapter will make up for the wait. Some light smut ahead. Enjoy!

Second Trimester: The "Easiest" One

Dr. Montgomery is hesitant when she tells them that, traditionally, the second trimester is the easiest. She makes sure to remind them that every pregnancy is different, and Rachel's next three months could easily be the hardest of hers, but that doesn't do much to stop Rachel from getting excited.

She goes on and on the whole way home about finally being able to get through a day without puking and passing out on the couch. And since Dr. Montgomery said she'd have more energy now, she can probably start jogging again, or at least taking brisk walks (with him at her side, obviously) and maybe she'll even have enough vigor to start planning the nursery, and oh! She hopes she'll be able to eat pancakes again, she's just missed them so much- and yeah. She's sleeping before they even reach their apartment building.

He can't blame her too much though; it is really exciting to think that Rachel could go back to being her usual energetic self. Really these last couple of months she's pretty much been at a normal person's standard emotive level, but this is Rachel, and she doesn't do anything normal.

And of course, she doesn't disappoint.

The very next morning, she barges into his apartment, throwing a t-shirt and basketball shorts at him in his sleep, did he mention this is at 6am? On a Saturday?

Yeah, she's got another thing coming if she thinks he's doing…anything, with her at this ungodly hour. If you ask him, anytime before 10am should cease to exist at all on the weekends.

"Up and at em, Finn! I want to take a walk!"

He pulls the comforter over his head in anticipation of what has got to be her next move…opening the blinds. And yep, there they go. "Raaaach! I'm sleeping!"

"I can see that, but it's time to wake up now."

"Yeah, except it totally isn't. Come back in like, 4 hours. Thanks."

She puts her hands on her hips even though he can't see or appreciate the gesture, "Finn, you promised…in with me 100%."

He should have known she'd throw that back in his face at the most inopportune time. And that time is now, because that time is _6 o'clock in the morning_. "I have been in 100%!" he snaps "I've been cleaning up your puke and removing any item that has the slightest odor for weeks! I had to throw out my beer Rachel. My _beer_."

He sounds like he's going to cry at any moment. Rachel swears she hears his voice break on that second beer. Boohoo, the man has to give up beer, it's not like she had to do the same thing….

"Ugh! Cry me a river, Finn. Haven't you ever heard of solidarity? You see, this is what I meant by 100%. 100% doesn't mean you're only in when it is convenient for you-"

He scoffs, "Convenient? Yeah, that's the exact word I'd use to describe scrubbing your barf out of my carpet…"

She's silent for a moment, and if he were anyone else, he'd assume victory, but he's Finn and she's Rachel and he can actually _feel_ her crying before he can hear or see her.

Crap.

He steels himself before he emerges from the covers, because if there's one thing he's never been able to withstand, it's the tears of Rachel Berry.

"Rachel-"

"I really do not appreciate you throwing that in my face, Finn. Especially after you insisted it was no big deal at the time! It's nice to know you've just been patronizing me for weeks, while you quietly seethe about how _disgusting_ I am in private."

"Rachel, you know that's not what I meant. I just-" he doesn't know how to explain himself here, his grouchy instincts didn't work (big surprise), but she doesn't want to be patronized either, he can't win. He throws his hands up in frustration, "I- God, I just don't want to wake up this early!"

"No, it's okay Finn. It's not like I'm a beached whale who's been house ridden for months, who will never get her body back. It's not like I need a walk to stay healthy and take care of _our _child. Please just continue getting your beauty sleep, at least one of us will stay hot!" she hysterical now, not hysterical crying- well, not exactly. It's more like this pacing, frenzied, weepy tantrum that is rapidly spinning further and further out of control. He's off his game, probably because he's still horizontal and half asleep and his refusal to accept the fact that this is _actually_ the time he'll be waking up today probably isn't helping matters either.

"Rach, I'm sorry, you know I'm cranky in the morning." He pleads, "And you're not a beached whale." He throws in for good measure

She stops waving her arms around and sniffles a bit, which he appreciates, but it's not really the complete recovery he was hoping for.

With a groan he heaves his body out of bed. "Okay, okay I'm up. Let's go for a walk." He digs the heels of his hands into his eyes and his head feels so, so woozy. _Fuck! _It could not be any earlier.

Rachel shakes her tears away and claps her hands, "Yay! Hurry up, there's coffee."

Shit, that was quick. And her smile looks almost…cocky as she walks away, did she just- did he totally – she totally just conned him didn't she? God, she's such a psycho.

"Fricken pregnant hormones, as if she wasn't crazy enough already…"

"What was that, Finn?" her eyes are insane as she pokes her head back into his bedroom. _Jesus_. That is the stare of a serial killer on the loose.

"I said, coffee sounds perfect Rach!" he's surprised he can even muster the energy to plaster on this fake smile. But like, if this morning's bipolar manipulation is any indication of what he's in for today, Rachel's liable to chop his body into a million little pieces for blinking the wrong way or something.

He pulls on the shirt Rachel threw at him, looks out the window at the sun, barely awake itself, and wonders with sudden horror if this is what Dr. Montgomery meant by "easy"…

* * *

Second trimester update: Rachel _still _doesn't look any more pregnant than she did yelling at him for dropping banana bread on her kitchen floor.

Finn always just thought, pregnancy=fat. And yeah, that's probably not politically correct, and he'd never say it out loud, but he's kind of surprised she hasn't gotten any bigger yet.

He feels a little cheated to be honest. He was looking forward to a big bellied Rachel, waddling around their apartment. A nice round tummy he could touch and watch grow and feel move under the feet and hands of their baby. PS, he's never saying _that_ out loud either. Seriously, the thoughts that pop into his head these days- like that sappy little hallmark declaration- are the girliest, cheesiest things this side of the Lifetime network. Which, by the way, Rachel makes him watch religiously, so really she's to blame for this newfound gushy-ness in more ways than one.

Dr. Montgomery isn't worried about Rachel's lack of weight gain, even though they both insist it means something is wrong. She tells them that it's still relatively early in the pregnancy and since Rachel is, and has always been, so tiny it's not all that absurd that she isn't showing yet. Then she assures them that yes, she has gained a few pounds (All in her boobs if you ask Finn) and that their baby is growing healthy and proper as ever.

The thing is Rachel is still doing that whole, _pretend I'm fat_ thing. She waddles around with her hands pressed to her lower back, like she's carrying around a 4 year old in there. And she stops sleeping on her stomach, even though the doctor tells her she should cherish it now while she still can.

He's kind of come to accept that this is just one of those really weird pregnancy quirks of Rachel's. He's never going to understand it or be able to relate to it, but he still has to defend her when Puck tells her she's going crazy, and he still has to keep his mouth shut when she claims she can't fit in just one subway seat anymore.

He treats it like a non-issue, but she makes it really hard to ignore when she starts wearing his clothes.

The clothes wearing he doesn't actually mind, he's quick to offer her a sweatshirt when they're watching a movie in his apartment and she's cold. It's not like he expects her to go all the way back to her apartment to get one. He even gives her a pair of sweatpants when she's super full from gorging on take out, and claims she can't breathe with her jeans on.

It's when she starts stealing his clothes that it becomes a problem. And he doesn't mean stealing like, she took those sweats home with her for a week before returning them, or even that she never gave them back, he means stealing. Literally taking things from his apartment while he is not home or not looking, hell when she's had him drugged and locked in a closet for all he knows. The point is she's taking his clothes without him knowing somehow. She is a pregnant ninja whose only mission is to acquire all his clothes until he is naked and freezing.

The realization is gradual, a missing shirt here, a pair of pants there, all which he chalks up to various explanations; in the wash, at the dry cleaners, in the wrong drawer, left it in a cab…whatever. But then it hits him all at once one morning before work.

He's looking for a shirt to wear and there are no button downs in his closet. He frowns at the row of empty hangers, but he's in too much of a rush to analyze how strange it is that he doesn't even have _one_ dress shirt he can wear. Not even an old one with arm pit stains he never threw out, or that terrible green one his mom bought him for Christmas. He's kinda grossed out that he'll have to pull one from the hamper; he hasn't had to do that since college, but it's getting late so he rummages through the dirty clothes, only there's none in there either. Even weirder.

He squints his eyes and ponders this mystery; how can there be none in his closet _and_ none in his hamper? In fact, there's really not very much in his hamper at boxers he wore to bed last night that he threw in there before his shower, the jeans socks and Buckeyes jersey he wore to watch the game at Puck's last night. And that's it. He hasn't done laundry in like two weeks, this thing should be overflowing. _What the hell?_

Somehow, deep down, he knows Rachel is at the heart of this. Usually when there's something super weird like this happening to him, she's to blame. Kind of like in high school when all his books kept disappearing from his locker until he found out she was lifting each of his binders, organizing them, and then trading them back for another. He swore he was going crazy for weeks before he finally figured it out.

Sure enough, when he gets down there, she's lounging on the couch in his blue button down.

"Rach…"

"Finn…."

"Is that my shirt?"

She looks down at it like she doesn't know, same look she had with one of his binders in her very hands! "Oh, yeah, I guess it is."

He can tell by her cavalier attitude that this conversation is going to take way longer than he wants it to or has time for. So he just goes to her room and into her closet, where he finds 50% of his wardrobe hanging.

Rachel marches in while he's pulling stuff off the racks, and she has the nerve to look offended like she's the one being put out here, "Um, what are you doing?"

He pinches the bridge of his nose so he won't yell, "Well… I'm gathering the clothes in here that belong to me, because you know- I need to wear them."  
She grumbles a bit, even stomps her foot for good measure "But Finn!"

He gasps when he sees her hamper, another 3 or 4 shirts in there, "Rachel! Are you just stealing everything I own now?!"

"I'm not stealing! Just borrowing." She folds her arms over her chest in defiance

"It sure doesn't look like you're ever going to give them back!"

"I like them!"

"So do I…Which is why I bought them!"

"But, I'm pregnant Finn!" she cries

That's her answer to everything now.

_Can we watch ESPN instead of this Say Yes to the Dress you've already seen 4 times? _

_ But, I'm pregnant Finn!_

_ Rachel, can you get the phone, my hands are wet and soapy from doing your dishes._

_ But, I'm pregnant Finn!_

And he sucks it up most of the time. But he doesn't have much of a choice here; he can't really roam the streets of New York without clothes on!

He's trying very hard to stay calm, "Rachel, I know you're pregnant, but you have your own clothes."

"I do. But yours fit better."

He can't believe she actually manages to say that with a straight face. Standing in front of him with his shirt completely dwarfing her body, he's pretty sure he could fit another _two_ Rachels inside the shirt if he wanted.

He closes his eyes for a moment, trying to formulate exactly what he wants to say. He has to tread extremely lightly here, "Listen, Rach. I know you're like, prepping for the baby weight or whatever, and I don't mind if you borrow a few things here or there but, this is- this is just too much."

She looks genuinely wounded by this and he almost feels bad, but then he remembers he's a half an hour late and standing in front of her in a towel because she stole all his clothing!

"How did you do this by the way?" he stares her down, "Have you- Rachel, have you been stealing the dirty clothes from my hamper?"

Rachel has the decency to look ashamed at least. Thank God, because this is a new level of weird, even for her.

She tugs on the bottom of the shirt and won't look him in the eye, "I just don't feel comfortable in any of my clothes. I feel fat and tight and squeezed, it's gross."

He sighs. How does she always manage to diminish all of his anger with one tiny admission?

"C'mere Rach." He concedes before pulling her to his chest, "I'm sorry you're uncomfortable in your clothes, even though I promise you they don't look tight or gross or anything. Why don't we go get you some maternity clothes this weekend? You liked the stuff in the window at that place on fifth right?"

She nods a little, like she doesn't want to admit it. It makes him laugh and take pity on her, "Fine! You can pick a few to keep here too."

She looks up at him with hopeful eyes, "How many?"

"Two?"

"Four."

"Two."

"Three?"

"Alright you can have three, but not the white ones I need those for work."

She squeals, and he grips her a little tighter. He can't help but to be happier when she is.

It's short lived though, when she smacks him on the chest and pulls away, "Gross Finn! You're all sweaty and mashing my face into your bare chest! It's disgusting!

"Oh really? I'm disgusting? This coming from the girl who rooted through my dirty clothes…"

She gasps in horror. The whole prissy thing is really a lost cause now.

Rachel turns her nose up, "Whatever. Honestly, Finn, the fact that you could be so sweaty this early in the morning is alarming. What are you so worked up about? And you know it's 8:45 right? You we're supposed to be at work like an hour ago…"

He counts to ten, grabs a fresh shirt from her closet and leaves without another word.

* * *

Rachel, he thinks, is the most sentimental person he knows.

Years and years ago, back when she was just a scrawny girl with penguins on her sweaters, and he had a voice that squeaked and cheeks a permanent pink, they had made a promise to each other.

It was late at night, hours after they had promised his mother they really were going to bed this time, and they were both too angry to sleep.  
He had referred to Puck as his best friend. In passing, really, without any hidden meaning or even truth to the statement; something about picking him first for dodge ball for that exact reason. Her ears had burned white hot at his blatant disregard for her, the girl who had spent the entire night letting him win at Mario Kart, because that's what best friends do- that's what _she _does.

Rachel had, of course, huffed in response and told him it was quite fine with her if he wanted Noah Puckerman as a best friend, because Kurt Hummel was her _actual _best friend anyways.

He called her a liar without a moment's hesitation, a sure fire way to drive her absolutely crazy. Her threat to call her daddy to pick her up might've been scary, had she actually gone through with it. What she actually did was pull his old cowboy covered sleeping bag out of his closet, zip herself up in it and refuse to talk to him.

Usually she was terrible at the no talking thing. She was notoriously bad at abiding by the strict rules of Jinxing and her report cards were all marred with claims of "Talking in class" and "Inability to raise hand" underneath her straight A's. (She maintains it was truly impossible for her to sit idly by while her peers painfully misinterpreted every question asked of them)

But on that night, Rachel was a steel trap of silence. He finally got so frustrated at trying to get her to talk to him that he became just as mad as her. Which he was totally fine with by the way, she was being a total baby and he would've called her dad himself if it hadn't been 2 o'clock in the morning. Except he couldn't sleep, and he knew why Rachel was so pissed, so he finally figured out a way to fix it.

Rachel had heard him toss the covers off the bed angrily, watched his dark figure stumble over to his desk and start scribbling on a piece of paper. Yes, she was curious, but there was no way in hell she'd admit that to him.

He'd turned the light on suddenly, stinging both their eyes, and shoved the piece of paper in her hand.

"Here. Sign." He instructed with little patience

She scowled at his abruptness, but opened the crumpled paper anyway. It read,

_This letter is proof that Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry are, and will always be best friends. This friendship shall hereby surpass any and all other friendships in importence, enjoyment and value._

All it needed was their signatures. She wanted to cry, but she had promised Finn she'd stop blubbering so much unless it was really important, speaking of…

"You spelled importance wrong."

Finn groaned and rolled his eyes, shoved a pen in her hand and said, "Just sign it, nerd!"

Rachel was too pleased to even retaliate for that one. She signed without another word and so, it was law.

She kissed his cheek to make it official, which he promptly rubbed off in disgust and finally, they were both able to sleep.

It's one of those silly things you do as a kid that, even as soon as he stuffed it deep into his desk drawer, seemed childish. But they both tuck the memory away for admiration at a later date.

Even so, it catches him off guard when, 5 months into her pregnancy, her mischievous face is pink with excitement and her hands are shaking, clutched tightly around a picture frame hidden against her chest.

They've only just started talking about the nursery (the one in his apartment. Since her second bedroom is already a furnished, painted and well-decorated guest room and his is basically a dumping ground for all the crap he doesn't want or refuses to wade through) when she tells him she knows exactly what she wants to put up on the wall. He braces himself for some wacko theme, like Broadway divas through time or the many roles of Barbara Streisand as told by Siamese cats, but he can't imagine turning anything that's made her this happy down. Alright, maybe cats as Barbara Streisand, that would be batshit crazy.

His mouth can't help but upturn in response to that beaming smile, "What is it, Rach?"

"It's the perfect thing to hang right above the baby's crib. The perfect representation of exactly what- well, who- brought him or her into this world." She bouncing on the balls of her feet, he can't take the suspense anymore.

"What is it?!"

She doesn't answer with words, simply turns the frame so he can see for himself.

And there it is, looking almost identical to all those years ago. It's kind of crumpled, but it always has been, he ripped it from his notebook in the dark hazy air of almost- sleep and never even bothered to try to smooth it out or rip off the frayed part that attaches to the notebook and makes the paper look like sloppy garbage. Nevertheless, Rachel frames it exactly as it is like it's some artifact whose imperfections and defects are what make it special. He supposes that is kind of true.

Finn is speechless, and he can see in her soft eyes that she knows it, knows how truly extraordinary this is.

"It's perfect." Is all he can manage.

Rachel supervises as he hangs it on the far wall of the room. He assesses his work, and Rachel nudges his hip with her own when he stares at it for longer than is really necessary.

They poke fun at each other a lot, pretty much nothing is off limits between them, but for some reason Rachel always excuses his rare bouts of overwhelming emotion. She doesn't call him out for the occasional tear at a sad movie and she would never tease him for getting emotional for anything pregnancy related, he really appreciates that. That assurance that he's allowed to feel whatever he wants, without embarrassment or apology or fear, he really only has that with her. He loves her for it, so much that he's ready to write another best friend pact right here and now.

She takes a deep, definitive breath like she does when she wants to be done crying, "I still can't believe you spelled importance wrong. Ironic isn't it?"

"I didn't have time to proofread! If my mom would've found us still awake at 2 in the morning, she would've kicked both our asses and we could've made that thing a blood oath."

She laughs and smacks him playfully, "I'd say it's the perfect start to the room, no?"

"Definitely."

* * *

So he wakes up one morning and bam… Rachel's pregnant.

It's like overnight the kid finally decided to make an appearance and at last, they've got some kind of proof Rachel is actually with child.

She's been spending a lot of nights at his apartment lately. Generally, Rachel is the most independent person he knows and it's been that way since he met her. Her dads worked a lot and always expected her to be their perfect, upstanding offspring whether they were watching her or not. But lately she's been a little needy, for lack of a better word.

It's not that he minds. Really it's nice to have her around (when she's not screaming at him for forgetting her rocky road). And after late nights watching movies and eating their weight in take out, she never wants to make the trek back to her apartment. She claims she's too tired or full or that his apartment has better ventilation and is closer to the elevator; a whole slew of excuses that basically boil down to, Rachel's pregnant and hormonal and she doesn't want to be alone at night.

He wishes she'd just admit it because it's nothing to be ashamed of, and out of all her weird pregnancy eccentricities this is by far the most normal and doable.

So anyways, a belly, Rachel's finally got one!

He starts waking up with his hand there. It's totally an accident and he doesn't go to sleep that way, somehow it just keeps happening. It's super intimate and intense, and he over thinks the implications of it for like 30 seconds until he reminds himself that everything is okay because it's Rachel.

And if you can't touch the stomach of your best friend who's platonically carrying your illegitimate baby, then really what can you do?

So instead of sleeping with his hands tucked under the pillows or freaking out and making Rachel sleep in her own bed, he embraces it. It's a good thing too, because he's really the first one who gets to witness the swelling of her tummy. You'd think it'd be Rachel but let's be honest, the girl's been acting like she weighs 300 pounds for months now, she really can't be trusted.

But again, the belly, it's just there one day. He wakes up and he can feel that his fingers are in a different position than usual. There's a rise in his hand and it's- it's _it_. Him or her, their _baby._

It's not the first time it's felt real. There have been moments that felt immeasurable and incomparable at the time; the little white stick in Rachel's apartment, their doctor's pleased assurance, buying a crib and even Rachel getting morning sickness that very first time. But God, this- this feeling, this tangible evidence that his kid is growing right here, under his palm, it's like nothing he's ever felt before.

He doesn't want to let go, and he's so glad for Rachel's tendency to sleep so deeply right now because he's crying _again_.

He's really turned into such a sap lately, but he can't pretend like this is anything less than remarkable. He can't wait for Rachel to see- then again maybe he can; actual baby weight finally colliding with fake baby weight could yield catastrophic results.

He'll wait another minute to wake her, or like… five. It'll just be him and- him and his bab_y_, for a little while longer.

* * *

_Nobody_ told him about the weirdest part of Rachel's pregnancy yet.

Not his trusty website, or Dr. Montgomery, not even Puck or Mike.

And he guesses it makes a little sense that no one actually said it out loud since it's sort of taboo, though if he had a dollar for every time Puck went into graphic detail about- well about anything, he'd be a millionaire.

Anyway the point is, around month six; Rachel gets super, super horny.

He can't figure out what's going on with her at first, because she gets insanely irritable out of nowhere and it's more than her normal pregnancy short-temper. She just _pissed_, like all the time. She's got this permanent scowl and she bites his head off when the delivery guy takes too long and when it's too hot in his apartment and when he gets barbeque chips instead of sour cream and onion, the list goes on and on.

And then it's like she can never get comfortable no matter what. She sits on the couch and shifts over and over, then she moves to the floor but she complains her butt hurts, so she moves back to the couch where she tries to lay down, first on her left side, then her right, with a pillow, without a pillow, her legs propped up, her legs tucked underneath her.

Nothing works. She squirms and huffs and even cries eventually, he hates that she's so uncomfortable and he wants to help. He pretty much opens up Pandora's Box when he asks how he can…

Rachel's sitting on the couch and she throws the pillow off her (again), "I just- I can't relax and…concentrate or- or or….anything!"

He gets on his knees in front of her, puts both his hands just above her knees like she likes- "Don't!" she hisses

Finn pulls away like she burned him, "Rach, what's wrong?"

He looks so earnest. So kind and concerned and she could just make something up, really pregnancy is all the justification she needs for anything. She could claim she's just tired, or hot or feeling fat, or dizzy, or nauseous… there's not a lot she _can't_ use as an excuse. But frankly, enough is enough and she can't take this anymore.

"Honestly, Finn?" he nods and she presses her lips together, "I haven't gotten laid in like 8 months and I'm just- I'm just really fucking horny." She holds her arms out in defeat, shrugging the slightest bit, daring him to say something in response.

He smiles, shakes his head like he can't believe that's what this is all about and he just does not get it.

"Ok!" Rachel shouts with a clap of her hands, "Do you remember when you hooked up with that girl from Delta Phi? You left while she was in the shower the next morning and she told everyone that you had Chlamydia?"

"Gee Rach, no. Some crazy girl standing on a table telling an entire cafeteria you have VD? That just sort of slips your mind after a while."

"I swear to God Finn..."

"Fine. Yes. How could I forget? I couldn't get a girl to save my life... Longest dry spell of my boning career."

"Charming."

"Always." He smirks "So what's your point?"

"My point is that is how horny I am, Finn. You, circa junior year, so desperate you were willing to have sex with Amy Pruitt and-"

"Hey! She was not that bad…"

"Finn, she had a severe speech impediment. Her hair was like, permanently in pigtails and I'm pretty sure she was clinically bi-polar."

"Okay, fine I get it. You're horny."

"No Finn, I really don't think you get it. I have relinquished my body to these psycho hormones. I can't control how often I cry or how many times I have to pee, or how swollen my feet get, I cannot stop myself from slathering peanut butter on a tomato and scarfing it down like I am the last pig on earth that will get to taste food and I can't-"

"Uh, Rach. The whole stop the rant before it starts thing…"

"I need to have sex Finn!" she actually grabs him by the collar of his shirt. He's petrified and her wild eyed stare isn't doing anything to relieve it.

"Okay! Jesus! What do you want me to do about it?!"

"Well," she starts, forgoing any modesty, "since I'm huge and disgusting and you made me this way, you are going to have to take one for the team and just put it in."

"Just put it in?! Just like that?"

"Yep, just like Amy Pruitt, baby!"

"I did not _put it in_ Amy Pruitt!"

"We'll you're gonna put it in me, Mr. Chlamydia!"

"Oh I love it when you talk sexy to me, Rach."

She gives him a mega-watt fake smile. Maybe if she weren't a hippopotamus at her wits end, she'd actually try to be sexy… C'est la vie.

"Why don't you just like- watch some man porn and go at it for a while?"

"You are an imbecile."

"What? It's not like you'd be the first person in the world to masturbate."

"Oh, well you'd know wouldn't you?"

"Hey!"

"Whatever, Finn. It's kind of hard to just _go at it for a while _when you can't…access your….area." she uses hand motions to try to relay her point

"Access? Oh. _Oh! _You can't _access_ your _area_, I get it."

"Duhhhh." She mocks in a deep voice

"Damn Rach, you're mean when you're horny!"

"Oh that's rich coming from you… or was it someone else who punched his roommate during his infamous dry spell?" she touches a finger to her chin sarcastically

"Sam knew I liked cooler ranch Doritos better than original!"

"Oh my god, it's like talking to a 9 year old."

"Yeah." He smirks, "A 9 year old you wanna bone."

"Oh please! You can drop the stud act, Finn. This is just like you massaging my feet or cleaning out the foods that trigger me, another father of the baby duty."

He begs to differ. Having sex could barely be compared to a massage, and it wasn't even in the same stratosphere as throwing out all mayonnaise based foods in the fridge. But seriously… this would be a lot easier to argue against if he hadn't been on the same dry spell she was. They both agreed no dating while she was pregnant, since she didn't have much of a choice (What kind of weirdo wants to date a pregnant chick) it didn't seem fair for him to be hooking up with randoms for 9 months while she sat at home growing their baby.

"Are you sure, Rach?"

She doesn't answer. Instead she pushes him (way harder than necessary) onto his back. Thank God the couch is there to break is fall or she'd be a single mother in 3 months.

"Fuck, Rachel. Take it easy."

He thinks she mutters a sorry under her breath, but she's too busy tearing at his jeans for her to really mean it.

Finn guesses foreplay is out of the question when she pulls his pants and boxers off in one swift motion without any hesitation, and he knows it for sure when she doesn't even bother taking her shirt off.

Jeez, she really does just want him to put it in.

She sinks onto him before he has the chance to ask her if she's sure one last time. The moan she lets out reverberates through the entire apartment; it bounces of the walls and lingers for seconds after.

Her eyes are closed, her head thrown back in pleasure, "Oh my godddd."

Finn just watches her; she looks like she is in pure bliss. He's not doing much, to be completely honest, but shit… she's digging what she's getting and it's nice to see her enjoying herself.

Rachel, through heavy breaths and moans, begs him to touch her, so he does and she's coming almost as soon as his hand makes contact with her body.

She slumps onto his chest and he ignores his instincts; the sexual ones that urge him to get off, the protective ones that wonder how this might affect him and Rachel's friendship, the worrisome ones that beg to know what the hell that just was. He pushes them all away and instead, he zeroes in on the feeling of her swollen stomach on his own, her skin the only barrier between him and their baby, he's never felt it this close before- his own bliss.

Rachel takes a long time to get her breath back, and she doesn't even attempt to speak, until finally, after many minutes, she breathes out an apology.

"I'm sorry I- that wasn't good for you I know" she glances down at him, still hard beneath her, "but- but thank you." She laughs a little, like she can't believe her own audacity, he can't much either… it's new.

"Yeah, well…that's what I'm here for? I guess?"

Rachel appreciates the informality of it all in this moment. Glad not to have to analyze or defend or feel ashamed, and she knows, she _knows _this is brazen and hedonistic and about a hundred other adjectives her fathers would never approve of, but she finally feels relief. Like waking up the morning after a terrible cold and being able to breathe through your nose again, like pulling free the strings of the most stubborn knot in the world.

She feels like the only way to make it to her room is by floating there, and her voice is airy when she tells Finn she needs a nap.

He looks stunned, his mouth hanging open, his body naked from the waist down. She presses her fingers to his chin to close his mouth, kisses his forehead and doesn't try to hide her grin when she tells him he can just_ go at it for a while_ she's gone.

.

.

.

* * *

Welp, second trimester dunzo! Rachel's finally showing and her hormones are raging. Stay tuned for the third and final trimester…

Also, this is the last chance for voting on the gender of the baby so if you'd like to have a say, let me know in your reviews. I promise I really will look through the comments and count em' up!

Lastly, I wanted to say again that I apologize for the sporadic updates to this story. Again, I'm not giving up on it, the muse is just a little sluggish right now. I think all of us in the Finchel fandom can agree that inspiration has been a little scarce this season. Personally, I am inspired to write when I see them together on my screen; it gives me ideas and makes me _want_ to write about them. Unfortunately, screen time for them this season has been next to nothing, therefore the motivation has been brutally lacking. I'm trying my best to come up with quality new chapters as quick as possible, so thanks for your patience and continued interest in this story!


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